The instructions I am given

I am always being given fantastic advice and instructions from the divine. These are sometimes in the nature of dreams, impulses, intuition (for want of a better word), dreams, repeated signs, songs, so-called "coincidences" and a range of other things.

I would LOVE to tell you I always listen to and follow those instructions and advice *sheepish grin* but I don't make a habit out of lying, even on seemingly little things! 

Needless to say, those times when I haven't listened, I soon discover why it would have been to my advantage to do so... *Wry grin*

The ones I really want to focus on tonight is the information I am constantly getting from my body. The simple version is, that every part of me, every fibre, tissue, cell, molecule, understands the connection to the divine that we all have. It KNOWS the contract, knows what's best for me, and the choices that would equal perfect and divine health. It is my connection to both the earth, and the divine all in one.

Last Thursday, I had to have some surgery (don't worry, sparing you the details) and as circumstances were at the time, I had to go on my own, staying overnight in a hotel as the hospital is a three hour drive each way from where I live. When I arrived, I found I had been given little to no information, was being condescended to and treated as the body part being dealt with rather than as a human being. That there was limited compassion and a WHOLE lot of judgement. As the day progressed (It had started at 4am when I had hit the road to get to the place) I became increasingly more distressed. I called on the whole team to be there, Raphael in particular. I was OK, but certainly not fantastic. 

As I sat waiting in the common waiting area, dressed in my ultra attractive surgical gown I began to have second thoughts about the whole deal. Raphael calmly informed me that "chickening out" was not really an option (damn!) I was moved to the pre-op area to wait for someone to come and give me the initial bout of chemicals and there was a picture on the wall of a path leading through a forest. As I sat there, I imagined walking through the forest with Raphael having a chat about the procedure and the after procedure care and all of the things I was frightened about.

At one point, I asked about all of the pain and the anti-biotic and other drugs I had been told I MUST take and the like. I live a reasonably natural existence, using herbs to treat most things, and was reluctant to take any chemical drugs, although I was certainly not going to refuse western treatment or any thing like that.

Raphael challenged me to heal myself! 

As I went into the surgery, all I could think about was how I could heal myself????????

After the operation, as I was lying on the bed in my hotel room, it suddenly "came to me" that I could just ask my body to heal itself. "What a strange idea" I thought to myself, but as I thought that (with my brain) my heart said, "Go on, can't hurt any worse than you do right now can it?" So, I set myself to the task of imagining a discussion with every cell in my body *laugh* This may have been made easier with the after effects of a general anaesthetic. I gave every cell the instruction that energy was to be converted to the place of surgery; that it was ALL hands on deck and the wound needed to be pain free and healing and ready for the three hour car trip home the next day. I also issued orders that I was to be fit for work on the following Monday. I went to sleep smiling to myself and laughing at what a "silly goose" I was.

I have been virtually pain free since the surgery, I have not taken the anti-biotic chemicals, instead using calendular and ginger (naturally occurring anti-biotic) because that's what my body said would be OK. No infection, and...a week later, other than some bruising, absolutely no evidence that I had the surgery at all.

Knock me over with a feather! That ACTUALLY worked *laugh*

I am of course, not suggesting that anyone ignore medical advice, or not seek treatment of they need to. After all, Raphael suggested the visit which led to the need for surgery being discovered. (Just as an aside, I also asked him to take care of finding me a really good specialist too *smile*) What I am saying is, that within each of us, is a most amazing and powerful tool; an unbelievably strong connection to the divine. Every cell in your body is attuned and waiting for your permission.

Give yourself permission to be powerful and hear the instructions you are given! Honour the voice inside of you that tells you what course to take...it's the divine, you can trust it.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Another key secret to success

OK, so I'm on a bit of a roll at the moment *smile* and am being asked to pass on these really simple, yet impactful truths about the way I view myself and the things I do in terms of being successful.

Just as an aside, we all have our own models for what "success" actually looks like, obviously, when I am talking about this topic, I am totally influenced by my own definition *wry grin*

So today, I was confronted with remembering another key to living a successful life. It is so simple I actually overlooked it as a key factor...duh.

Speaking kindly to yourself and loving your whole self from your every particle is one of the BIGGEST contributors to being successful. 

There is simply NO point to putting yourself down, punishing yourself, or dwelling on mistakes and perceived rejections. The only thing this does to and for you, is to slow you down and undermine your confidence in taking the next step.

Being human, there WILL be mistakes, there ARE moments I am sure I would have liked to choose another path or another way of dealing with a situation. There are times when I feel TOTALLY lost, and places I wish with all of my heart that I had NEVER put myself in or chosen (Reading the fine print on the contract far more closely next time *laughing).

However, what I know now (finally) is that NONE of these things has the power to stop me, to dissuade me or to prevent me from seeking my truth and my successful life. None of these things are worth punishing myself relentlessly for, nor are they necessarily moments I "had to go through" even though they have certainly acted to show me my strengths. None of these things, "mistakes" if you will can define who I choose to be. They are only moments in time, not great ones, but all the better for that.

Forgive instantly, love unconditionally and respect yourself for not only who you are, but the person you choose to be from this moment on.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Universal life purpose

While we all have a goal we set, a life purpose which we are urged to fulfil and makes our heart leap with joy, I also believe there is a universal life purpose, one that we all share so to speak.

Our common life purpose then is to bring out the best in others. Let me take a moment to note though, that this cannot be achieved through criticism, nor through judgement.

Simply, we are all charged with inspiring each other.

We can do this in oh so many (non intrusive) ways.

• Use positive and loving words when speaking to, about, or thinking of others.
• 
  
• See the light being and the love in all people regardless of their actions.
• 
  
• Forgive easily.
• 
  
• Love unconditionally.
• 
  
• Inspire others to be happy by perusing your own divine happiness, this sends out amazing rays of healing energy.

We are all of one spirit in the end, and we're all in this together. There are so many ways in which we can bring about joy, gratefulness, happiness and to generally lift up the energy levels of others, that once you get started, you can never think of stopping.

It's a pay it forward kind of thing, living your own blessings, respecting yourself and your boundaries, committing to happiness, forgiveness and a life that comes from a place of love means we shine our light on the world and inspire others to do the same with their choices...the results are magnificent.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

To harm or to heal...

There are some emotions in our spectrum that definitely belong only to us; to humans that is, and they can be quite harmful. Anger, hate, distrust, fear and blame...just to name a few. While all of us at times, will experience this full range of emotive responses, our ability to mitigate them as soon as possible is to our own benefit.

Just recently, I experienced a "moment" a point in time that was a bit of a struggle and through the actions of another, I felt pain, disappointment and a whole gambit of non-useful emotions. .. bleh...not nice at all. All of a sudden, I was unable to sleep properly, the scenarios just kept going around and around in my head, I felt righteous, angry, and was laying a whole heap of blame at the feet of the other being involved.

Not helpful in the least.

While there is no doubt that the actions of another person precipitated these moments, it could also be said that I in turn, fed the experience by feeding fuel on the fire so to speak.

It was during the midst of this experience that I was given to understand a little more about guilt and blame and what an insidious set they can be. I consciously let go of blame, I chose to relay the events without blaming anyone (including myself for allowing the situation to develop) and to release the need to find someone at fault. Now, I'm not saying this was an easy skill to master, but it can be done.

In trying to find someone else to blame, it is possible I was trying to relinquish my own responsibility or to lessen the blow, in actual fact, what I was doing was creating a pool of anger and resentment around me, and building a wall between myself and others in order to protect myself from being hurt in the same way again...sheesh...also not helpful.

I looked at the situation from a more detached point of view, then, I repeated over and over again the statement, "No one is to blame, this situation just is as it is." Even when I was telling a close friend about the situation, I said these words again, each time reinforcing the belief that this is true.

In releasing the need to lay blame, I released the need to judge and to be angry. In so doing, I found it so much easier to move on without adding to my hurt.

In short, by adding no blame I could forgive, and so heal and move on.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Regaining serenity

I hope that by now, having read a few of these posts, it has become apparent to you, beautiful beings, that while I may listen, have faith, believe  and walk a path of love and forgiveness as best I know how...I am also, undeniably human into the bargain *smile.

There have been so many times when I have "lost" my connection with the divine (in other words, too preoccupied with what's going on and buying into the negative to listen) and when these moments come upon me, I feel as lost as though I didn't know there were angels guiding my every step. *sigh* 

At least now, I can remember in those moments, that the team is still there, will ALWAYS be there, that no matter how lonely, I am never alone. 

All the platitudes in the world don't help though in a moment of helplessness, of heart aching loneliness or of extreme grief and pain.  Yep...I have these moments too...human remember *smile*

Connecting with nature has always been one of the things that has helped me to ease the ache, or to regain some semblance of balance within my soul. Even before I realised that my heart and the divine, were constantly giving me the information I needed to walk the path I choose and to be happy, I sought out nature when I felt particularly aggrieved  Sitting by the beach, watching the waves continue their endless march in and out, sitting in a garden under a tree, walking through a particularly old, and nurturing part of rain forest, or just sitting outside on the grass...all of these things have helped me immeasurably, and many others besides.

Regardless of what creed you believe  or whether you think there are a divine team of beings guiding your steps or a conscious universe acting in accordance of your intentions, nature can have a healing impact when you feel lost and dishevelled and a little afraid.

Try it out when you are hurting. Go and sit in the garden and let your thoughts roam and wander where they will. Sit silently, or talk, or sob, or whatever takes your heart in the moment. Look at your surroundings or sit as though seeing through the environment. None of this matters. Just being surrounded by nature has the ability to heal; to restore some sense of calm and serenity.

For me, I always take pen and paper with me when I seeks out nature's healing comfort. Inevitably, as I sit and feel the hurt drain from me, and a calm peace sooth me, I start to hear my heart again, and when my heart is whispering to me, I make sure I am taking notes.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Stamp of Approval...

I was sitting in my garden today enjoying the wonder and the beauty of the sunset that has been magnificently enhanced by a massive smoke haze from surrounding bush fires. I was gratified by the beauty of the moment, and thinking that even something as potentially destructive and heartbreaking as bush fires can be, have the tendency to produce something magnificent and to be grateful for.

I was thinking, as I looked at this sunset and feeling my way through another sad moment, when I suddenly understood my sadness and seeming loneliness today.

There have been a few days lately where I am having to consciously think of the things I am grateful for and to look for the positive and all of those other strategies. There are MASSIVE energy changes going on around the world (I'm sure you've noticed the impact) and there is a lot in the way of learning/remembering and changing within myself as well. these times for me are often characterised by tiredness, a lack of willingness to engage in activities that I normally revel in, and a feeling of isolation and loneliness.

I came to a new understanding of this today. In a moment I realised that I was actually seeking approval from the people around me in some way. More than that though, I am/have been looking for acceptance and therefore curbing some of my natural instincts and impulses when around others...apparently I am a little too faery like and weird *smile*

So I asked myself, "Why do you need the approval of others?"

"I don;t!" I replied adamantly, "So why are you looking for it then?" I responded with a little sarcasm...... hmmmm..."OK, you got me."

I thought on this further.....

I couldn't really come up with an answer, so I figured this was one of those times when knowing why was not necessary, only recognising the situation, and then acting to change it if necessary.

I immediately asked my team to help me release the need to gain approval. I was sent inside to get pen and paper and immediately drew myself a stamp of approval...*silly grin* I of course, then laughed myself silly. The message, aside from the frivolity was clear...the only one who I need approval from, is me.

Working on it...*smile*

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Don't spoil your present

One of the strangest things I have come across is the "live in the moment" type philosophy...I mean, I HAVE to be super organised well in advance, I simply MUST plan ahead and have back up plans in place in case the original falls through. If I don't, well, things just don't run smoothly, I get a feeling of immense stress and things REALLY start to go pear shaped from there...so HOW can I "live in the moment/" *she says with contempt and judgement* *sigh*

I think upon this moment, which was for me not so long ago, and I just have to *sigh* loudly! I answer my own question, "You feel this way because you didn't truly understand the concept silly."

Indeed I did not, and sometimes even still, I don't fully understand.

My new understanding of the thought, "Live in the moment" is that I can choose to enjoy every minute that passes (or as many as I feel I can) and not spend time worrying about "what ifs?", missed opportunities, failures, embarrassments, what I did do, didn't do, will soon do, may very well do and all of the rest...

I can make plans, set goals, create pathways to my hearts content (and indeed I do *smile*). What I choose NOT to do, is spend time in worry, stress and in listening to my brain and ego throw out all sorts of scenarios in order to frighten me into staying comfortable.

Don't spoil your present by fearing the future.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

When the world fell out from beneath me

I am not scared to admit that the last few days have been pretty bloody terrible for me energetically. I had a fantastic day at work all day on Wednesday, lovely times with my students, lots of learning, a few moments of confrontation but nothing extreme. Over all, a pleasant day with nothing untoward going on. Suddenly, in the last few minutes of the day, a moment happened (nothing big, no real issue) and my stomach plummeted. I got in my car to drive home, smudging for all my heart was worth in order to let go of the moment and move passed it. After all, it was NOTHING in the big scheme of things. It wasn't even anything in the little scheme of things, it was a moment that I would pass by on any given day of the week with never a backward glance. All of a sudden though, I couldn't let it go. I drove home, my stomach really sore, my brain working over time to come up with all sorts of scenarios, each more horrible than the last. ...whoa..."what is going on?" I asked my divine team over and over again to cut the cords tying me to this situation and help me move on and past it....nothing.

I walked in the door at home and got smashed by a second round of moments. My heart leaped immediately into my throat, I was almost crying with frustration and despair...holy cow! "So what bought this on?" ...nothing.

Major conflict in the house for a while, so after putting my youngest angelic being to bed, I went out to the garden which is usually a place of serenity  calm and comfort. I made myself comfortable on my favourite chair and began all my relaxation methods and calming exercises. I asked my team to back me up, and with all my will I focused my intentions on being centred  being calm and figuring out what in all of creation was going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't concentrate on reading my book, found no beauty in my plants and faery lights, was restless, my tea tasted horrible and I could not hear the usual comfort and solace of my team surrounding me...."what?????"

No matter what I did, no matter how I did it, I could find no peace, none of my inner strength was manifest, no calm, no serenity, no distance...nothing.

I had NO idea what to do next. I knew I could not sit down to write a blog post in the state I was in, I didn't even know what was going on myself. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I mean, how do you explain it when a beautiful, fluffy, faery filled day all of a sudden, for no reason, feels like you've landed in the seven circles of hell?????? No reason!!!!!

What I ended up doing was just sitting with the feeling. I continued to sit in the garden and let the feeling wash over me, surround me and completely envelop me. I took ownership of the moment, after all, this was me in this moment, this is how I felt and no amount of denial could remove that fact or the feeling. I can't say I embraced the feeling (who would???) however, I stopped trying to figure it out or to find a solution to it. I just sat with it, with me, and let the moment unfold as it would, tears and all....then, I went to bed.

That was two days ago now. To this moment, I cannot tell you what happened or why, I just don't know. I don't understand the why or the how, I did learn from this moment though. I accepted the feelings as my own, coming from me and a part of me and stopped trying to control the moment (an exercise in futility). I felt a real crisis, and just knew that all I had to do was surrender and I would pass through the moment....hard work!!!!!!!! I constantly talked to my divine team, seeking their help, asking for assistance and it was great. Since I did not know the cause of this moment, I could not ask for specific things to "be done" only surrender to guidance, stumbling my way through, listening as hard as I could to hear the "answers" I was being given.

I have walked through the last two days as though one half asleep, fulfilling my obligations to home and work, but not really here. Listening hard to my heart and the universe, going the direction guided, a bit here, a little more there, don't engage with this, leap right into that.

Suddenly this morning, the feeling was gone and I felt expectant hope again.

I still can't tell you what happened, or what that was all about. I can tell you that this moment passed with little pain due to the fact that I surrendered myself up completely and let go of the need to control the outcome (not that I had a great deal of choice in the matter *wry grin*) 

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love in to the world

Today has been a REALLY huge day both energetically and physically...phew....so all I feel to pass on today is the thought that I am sending love into the world.

I do this each night as I go to sleep, send my love energy from me into the world to comfort, embrace, heal and help anyone who may be in need.

I invite you to join me... believe me, it will/DOES make a difference.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

The power in forgiveness

An event occurred just recently that made my heart hurt quite a bit, some people chose some actions that saddened me and disappointed me (this is a judgement I know). 

One of the first responses I received from the person involved was, "You can be as angry at me as you like. I know I deserve it, so just be angry if you want."

I was really confused by this. Why would I be angry? OK, so the actions the other person chose were quite hurtful, but why would I then choose to exacerbate the situation by being angry?

When you are angry, I mean REALLY angry, your body undergoes some physiological changes; blood pressure rises, heart rate increases, a whole stack of chemicals are release that get your body ready for fight or flight...a whole heap of things, none of which, if sustained over a long period of time, are particularly good for you. Nor are the mental processes going on when you're angry.

So, my response to this statement was, "I'm not angry, that would only hurt me. I wish things had been different, but they aren't. So I guess I have nothing else to say about that.

I freely forgave, and I forgave myself for any part I may have played in the scenario whether unwittingly or no, and then I chose to move on.

The immense power in this is many fold. I am not hurting anymore, forgiveness released my heart from pain and has allowed me to heal all the more quickly. I am not dwelling on the events and replaying them over and over in my mind, forgiveness of self and others releases us from the need to rehash stories to find where we "went wrong". I did not built walls to shut me away from others in order to prevent being hurt again, forgiveness allows me to be grateful for the great moments and anticipate the next without adding baggage, reluctance or fear.

It is easy to forgive, in doing so, we heal faster, let go of situations, people and places that are not helpful, and are able to move forward again without losing much momentum.

Forgiveness and turning the other cheek is not weakness. It means not holding on to the hurt, it doesn't mean allowing others to continue hurting you.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoox

Silence your mind...

The most amazing thing about being who we are as humans is that our soul/spirit/oneness (whichever term you prefer) knows already all that is has to do in order to heal, restore, replenish and carry on with fulfilling our life's purpose.

How is it then that so many people seem to feel confusion, unhappiness and ill health? Myself included on more than one occasion I might add!

The thing that we sometimes struggle with is NOT, not knowing what to do and how to do it, but silencing our mind so that we can listen to the directions we are being given.

If I was asked today what the ONE single most important thing I have remembered in the last ten years, it would be to learn to still my mind, silence my brain/thinking and just listen. This is all I do now when I come to a cross roads, when I am hurting, when I am feeling a little lost, confused or overwhelmed; I sit comfortably, silence the ego and brain based thought patterns, and I listen to what my soul whispers quietly.

Of course the logical next step is to FOLLOW those urgings *smile*

Some of the techniques I have developed over time in order to make my brain just BE QUIET, are to:

1. TELL my brain to be quiet *silly grin* As soon as thoughts and "directed dwelling" or "thinking about" start to happen, I verbally instruct my brain to stay out of it! At the beginning, I had to do this really often, almost constantly for it to work. As I kept this up though, my brain got the message and responded quicker. I changed my habits from dwelling on and picking at things, to just sitting still and listening. Our bodies have terrific muscle memories and can be trained to respond the way WE desire.

2. I remove myself from all noise and distraction. For me this is sitting in a quiet corner of a garden, under a tree, near running water or preferably, all of the above. Nature is a wonderful healer and provides many opportunities for peace, solitude and tranquillity  I find it much easier to listen if I am surrounded by the quietitude of nature.

3. Music, I find, is also a brilliant way to, if not quiet, then to drown out the brain worries and allow the heart and soul to speak. Listening to something soft and soothing, humming along or singing out loud actually flushes the body with oxygen clearing the senses and allowing pure heart to shine through (Great for in the car *smile*)

4. In times when it has been/is really tough to get my brain to mind it's own business, I ask my divine team to step in. I expressly give the divine my permission to flick the switch leaving my brain and ego in the dark while illuminating my soul and heart voice. The visualisation helps me too.

These are some of many different techniques that I have used and continued to use to keep in practise with this skill. It doesn't actually matter how you do it; whatever works for you is the best thing to do. What matters is constant repetition of the skill until your brain learns to stay out of it. In doing this, you can clearly listen to the messages your soul is delivering to you.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Through the pain...

In a moment today, I looked at my contract again and saw I had signed up for a moment of pain. Not nice, not comfortable and most definitely not something I would usually share. I had this fleeting vision of my spirit self sitting there, skimming through all the details and going, "Yeah, I can definitely handle that, no problem really. I've got the skills and the know how and all the tools I need. You guys are going to back me up aren't you? Yes? Well then, nothing to be said further, I'll just sign this and we're off."

Today, for a moment, I wanted to scream at my spirit self; I wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her till her teeth rattled and say, "Did you READ that? Do you remember that there's a possibility you'll forget all of this when you get there? Did you forget you will be a mortal, a HUMAN being?"

I sat with this image for a while, after all, the human in me needed to take a moment to remind myself that I wouldn't have signed up for anything I couldn't handle and that railing against that choice for a moment might be a little therapeutic too. 

All those cliches also popped into and out of my head as well; "Battle scars only prove that you are tougher than what tried to hurt you," "Every painful moment carries it's lesson of beauty" "Time heals all wounds"...well, thanks divine team, that helps a little *wry smile* being human, none of these have ANY relevance to me in a moment of pain.

Forgive and move on, my heart whispered..."I know, I'm doing it" I replied.

Calling in the "Big guns" I continued to just sit with the moment, not trying to analyse, not being angry, afraid, hurt, embracing the numbness of shock, setting aside outrage and a sense of betrayal and injustice, just sitting, just being, just asking for help with my whole soul and heart to just pass through the moment thinking only about the love and living in forgiveness...no punishment, no blame...just love, only love.

This became a kind of mantra really, a healing, soothing balm which took the sting and the angst from the moment.

My heart rate slowed, the urge to cry settled and I felt calmer. Closing my eyes and opening my heart I again asked for help and this time remembered to give my permission for the healing to occur.

Words floated across my consciousness, beauty, an image or two. I didn't try to hold on to them, just feel the intent behind them. Then it came to me, "Keep the wonder." 

I cannot hold my hand out towards the future without taking a risk or two, I cannot look to the beauty and wonder of the world without also perceiving there is death and decay, I cannot walk my path as a human and not, at one point or another, experience loss or pain.

What I can do, is I can make the choice not to let the sparkle and the magic bleed from my eyes, I can choose to acknowledge and know that love is there around me and I can choose to remember that no matter how big the job I signed up for seems, I also chose a great team to stand at my back and by my side.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Being strong...

One of the most difficult life lessons for me has been in those moments in time when I really should be allowing myself to show "weakness" (as I perceive it) and giving others the opportunity to help me, that I insist on "being strong."

In actual fact, this is not strong, and it's not even particularly intelligent...if it goes on too long, it is quite possibly harmful as well.

The lesson for me, is the fact that knowing my own boundaries, knowing where to draw the line in helping others and in having time for myself and my own needs is not only beneficial, but essential!!!

Knowing that I have reached the limit of what I am actually capable of doing without harm to myself, and loving and respecting myself enough to say "no, with all the love in my heart, no" is a life skill I was slow to learn, and one I am still actually working on.

There is a sense of "selfishness" and "guilt" and a whole heap of other humanly constructed emotive responses that flit across my conscious mind in these moments. 

I have had to/and sometimes still have to, ask for some divine assistance in order to put a lid on the guilt, shame and sense of selfishness in order to take the time I need to do what I need to do for me and to say "no" to the people who perceive they need me.

At times, I have even gone as far as to break an agreement with another person in order to look after myself. That is, I have said I will help with this bake sale, or I will show up to that public appearance or whatever the case may be, and I have had to call and cancel. This is also very difficult for me.

The end result though is that if you continue to do things just because you said you would, because you would feel guilty or selfish if you didn't or some other form of obligation then I am not giving a gift of my time and services....only resentment can grow.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Power to move on

Have you ever felt that you were a bit stuck where you are? That there is something holding you back from moving on or moving forward? That everywhere you turn there are road blocks?

I have SO been in this space, many, many, many (OK you get the message *smile*) times. It's not a particularly nice place to be actually. 

There is one method I have found work EVERY time to help propel me forward again; not slowly creeping, or barely moving, but propels me at a run into the next stage of this magnificent journey.

I'm not sure you're going to like it, I know I didn't the first, second, third and possibly even fourth and fifth time I heard it *laugh* however, I will pass it on to you and let you be the judge.

We all know by now that the only REAL obstacle in our path is ourselves (damn it all) and so then, to get past a blockage, we need to look within.

I was looking back at myself just recently, I took a peek into my memories and dredged up the 15 year old me. Essentially, the same girl; MAJOR difference being that my temper was on a far shorter fuse, and the results spectacular!!!!! and NOT in a good way. I used my knowledge of words to systematically cut down any one I thought of as threatening, which is to say getting to close to me, and I was ruthless in my determination to remove any "threat". I was sorry afterwards of course, but that sorrow turned rather quickly to self pity. I held a grudge against anyone I thought had wronged me, and once my enmity was gained, there was never any forgiveness or compassion ever again. Nice piece of work huh? I really was a nice girl and I did love and care for my friends and strive to be good, it wasn't all bad *wry grin* Unless of course you were on the receiving end of some of that other stuff....*cringe*

So what's my point; the purpose for bringing 15 year old Roxanne out for introductions? 

In order to move forward from this point and to grow and mature, the very first thing I had to do was look myself in the eye and take ownership of the person I was at current. Without rancour, without sorrow and most DEFINITELY without judgement, I looked at myself and decided I did not like the person I was currently showing to the outside world.

Having taken responsibility for the person I was, and acknowledging that I had a choice about the behaviours I showed and the actions I took, I was then free to forgive myself and start to make changes.

When I feel as though I am stuck, when the "I'm a little hard done by" moments emerge, when I think there are "things" holding me back, the FIRST thing I do now is look myself in the eye!

As hard as it may be to hear and to accept, we are the creators of our current situation, and only we have the power to transform ourselves and our lives in order to propel us into a new future.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Heal insecurities

It seems there is a bit of a theme to the last few posts...*laugh* not really all that surprising, because when I look back on the things I have been asked to type, they all point to a very similar message over all...

love yourself as you are loved by the divine, then love others in the same way! 

One of the things I have learnt over quite a few years of teaching (possibly more than I am willing to commit to *smile*) is that all learning and growing comes down to one thing...confidence. It is the willingness to try coupled with confidence in your own ability to make the best of a situation that leads ultimately to success.  At times, we are our own worst enemy in this respect.

Healing insecurities (and make no mistake, these are NOT of divine origin, are NOT real, and most definitely are NOT helpful to you in anyway) is a process that is unique to you. I can offer some suggestions based on how I look my insecurities in the face and tell them to "get lost" but ultimately, this one is totally and completely down to each person individually.

Initially, as I began the journey of loving myself enough to live my divine life, this was my biggest hurdle. I lacked confidence in nearly everything. My first step was to write out the person I wanted to be. I wrote a list of criteria that described the perfect me. In reality, this person, this perfect me already existed because it is the real me, the one that did not learn fear and other human constructs. Each time I thought less of myself about something I would go to my list and remind myself of who I AM and I would mentally give myself a shake. It might be something as simple as, "Those people are not laughing at the way I am dressed, or walk or talk, they are best friends who just shared a loving joke and funny story." 

By doing this, I began (slowly) to change the filter through which I viewed the actions of others.

When I was a bit braver *smile* I asked some people I trusted to write me a list of my best qualities and the things they thought I was great at. I still have these lists. This was an amazing exercise, I had NO IDEA people thought I was so fabulous and talented????? 

By doing this, I began (slowly) to see myself as the people who love me see me, and I began to change the filter through which I viewed myself.

I went back in time in my imagination and had a conversation with the primary school me. This is where I learnt insecurity from. I spoke to her at length and offered her the wisdom and courage of more years, and told her she was/is amazing and special and loved.

By doing this, I began to heal the hurts that made me feel less than.

Now, I make the decision that people will judge me no matter what I do, so I may as well be me, get on with living my life and ignore the perception of others. 

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

It's not my story

One of the things I have remembered lately (and have to be reminded of frequently) is the concept, "It's not my story." Usually this remembering comes on the back of me attempting to make someone elses story mine *wry grin*

By this I mean buying into the story of others as they tell it to me, getting emotionally involved, when really, the best thing I could do for them is to be a good listener and that's it. As an indigo warrior, I am easily riled at times by things that are unjust, dishonest or mean. It makes me want to take my sword from the scabbard and leap to the defence...*laugh* In reality? This is not my story, and I am not required to change it, nor to do anything about it unless prompted (and that's rare) other than listen and offer comfort. 

When I buy into the pain of someone else and become emotionally involved, I am actually NOT helping. It took me a long time to remember this. It is through seeing objectively and offering solace without judgement that I can actually help in the healing process. It feels like I am helping sometimes to be horrified at an injustice, to voice my outrage at a situation, to leap immediately to the defence...all I am really doing though, is feeding fuel to the fire...this is never helpful. 

I coach myself to not give energy to perceived negative experiences by going on about them and yet, in the guise of "helping" I have encouraged others at times to rehash and allowed them to continue to feed energy into a situation. This is not intentional, but this is what is actually happening.

By reminding myself, "This is not my story" I am able to step away from judgement and from adding energy into an already negative situation. I am less likely t carry this away with me too. 

By listening to someone who is hurting, but making no comment that is a judgement or condemnation, I am helping the other person to move on and past their situation as well.

In anyone's life, no matter what is happening, I find I need to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, I cannot change their circumstances even though I can see clearly what would help at times, The ONLY person who can change a life story is the person who's story it is. "It's not my story" doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of others, it doesn't mean I won't help or can't help, it doesn't mean the same thing as "It's not my problem...good luck with that" it means that I acknowledge that the person who is hurting has the power and knowledge inside of them to change their own story. My role is to listen, and to be compassionate and loving...that is more than enough.

With love and light (and the knowledge that you are all powerful)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

My AMAZING ninjas

WOW! So I have just dragged myself home from my school's bi-yearly musical production. It is a mammoth effort including over 50 students from across the school (not a bad effort since we are a VERY small school) and quite a few staff as well. It's been a little tense at rehearsals, with people being really cranky, stressed and snappy at each other. The back stage crew (the ninjas *smile*) and I (The ginger ninja *laugh*) decided out environment was to be stress free. If we made a mistake, we fixed it and then payed out on each other unmercifully for it, if we started to stress, we stopped and "ninja breathed", that is lifted our hands from the earth drawing energy to our solar plexus, the on the exhale, pushing our hands away to release everything to the universe. We even surrounded a cast member who had a serious attack of the nerves and taught her to "ninja breathe". We laughed, carried on, participated in multiple shenanigans, and STILL managed to get the job done. Pretty soon, we found ourselves surrounded by cast wanting "in" on the fun. The ninjas (teenagers remember) wanted to be exclusive and not let the cast join in since there had been some unpleasantness and arrogance from a couple of members of the cast towards us. But, I managed to convince them to embrace all who wanted to join us, and that way, we'd ALL be having fun. I even instructed the ninjas to go around with lollipops before the performance and give them to the cast with their blessing and a wish for a great performance. 


So in short, today a whole group of teenagers learnt about the law of attraction (what you put out to the universe is what you will attract. They learnt about being the person who forgave and embraced and the beauty and power of that moment. They learnt that to dance, sing and be silly were not only great, but thoroughly beneficial in ANY situation. Finally they learnt how to breathe deeply to calm the nerves (I even watched them teach members of the cast how to do this without my instruction.


So, in a matter of a few hours, these amazing people learnt how to live from love and through their heart and then passed that lesson on to others. 


I am such a proud "ninja" in this moment *smile*


When life's tough and a little stressful, or you're being met with a bit of nastiness when you're only trying to help...laugh, sing, play, forgive and embrace.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Clear the way

I think at the moment, I am seriously under the influence of the romance angels *smile* every time I turn around, I seem to be getting signs and messages that originate from that source...fantastic, a lovely place to be.


This concept though, of clearing the way, can really be applied to all of our life experiences. I know for myself, I have often laboured under the "ghosts" of the past and have used these past experiences as a bit of a gauge and map for my future. Not helpful generally. While it is important to take from our past experiences the lessons that we have learnt, it isn't helpful to judge all future experiences based on the past.


Our thoughts on relationships are inevitably shaped by past relationships. Everything we felt, said and heard during a past relationship forms up a bit of a dam that stops new experiences from looking at new opportunities. Clearing that path is how we allow a new relationship, or new experience to happen without judgement. 


The key then, is to focus your entire attention to clearing the path, releasing painful experiences and beginning afresh. I like to visualise myself in a waterfall. As the water washes over me and surrounds me with light and healing energy, all the pain, humiliation, embarrassment and even the precious and enjoyable moments fall from me, washed away in healing purity. Sometimes, when the "stuff" I am clearing is particularly painful, I even stand in the shower to enhance the image.


Emerging from the waterfall is a new being who has no past experiences to inform or map out future experiences.


Open your heart, allow your divine team to enter with their healing and cleansing light, begin anew and revisit the wonder of the world.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

To heal

Let energy flow forth from you, erasing all barriers and breaking down all fears so that all that is left is love. Send the love   forth, let is scrub away all the built up areas of anger inside you, let it cleanse and clear and heal.


Trust your own healing ability, release the anger that is in you, let it ALL go and feel the barriers and the fear drop away from you.


Don't feel like you are being punished, the divine does not punish, humans do.


Stand strong, lift your head and stride forward with pride for you cannot fail.


Have faith that we stand beside you and ask for our help, we cannot help through violating your right and ability to choose, you have to ask and give us permission.


See the future as the bright and shining light that it is, there is nothing to fear, your fear is not real.


Hold on to love, move forward KNOWING that love is all that is real and let that energy pulse through you bringing new life and vitality.

Give free reign to how you feel

A medical professional once told me that our feelings are nothing more than chemicals, that we need to dissect and challenge them and never let them control us or our actions. In part, I think there lies some SMALL measure of truth in these words, but when I think of them, it makes my tummy hurt because of the way they may be interpreted.


Out emotions are a gift; they are our indicators of our current situation. Our intuitive senses are our connection to the divine and to our own bodies and hearts and souls. A series of chemical reactions...yes, but to what purpose? WHY would our divinely inspired bodies, our perfectly in tuned DNA create these responses if all we were supposed to do was ignore them? Doesn't make sense to me.


It is true that sometimes our responses are ego driven and our emotions can indeed be clouded by being too close to a situation and not being able to see the hearts path through the ego and fear driven confusion. However, the best way to avoid this is to really know yourself, your heart and the deceptive tricks your brain tries to play on you whenever you encounter a situation that is new, frightening or uncomfortable.


I have a really simple rule of thumb and it works for me every time. If the thought, feeling or emotive response is negative, it is fear and ego based. If it is positive and uplifting, well then, that's your heart and soul talking and it can be trusted!


Know all of your emotions, feel them, allow yourself to know the little tricks your brain will try (mine always tries to get me through the "you aren't being a good Mummy" button, or the "you're being selfish" button..phew, hard hitters those buttons) and know them for what they are. 


Have compassion and respect for yourself and and all your emotions, know them like old friends, even the ones that make you feel a little uncomfortable.


Embrace and love ALL of you. You are perfect, you cannot make a mistake when you listen to the love and positivity that is you. Negative is not really you.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo