A Solitary Journey

There are times on this journey of mine, the one I contracted for, the one I agreed to, when I have been given moments to pause and go...WHAT?

I am sure I am not at all alone in this experience. Every one, every single person has moments in their lives where they have cause to wonder why something happens, why ugliness is allowed, why loneliness occurs, why it seems at times that our life journey is particularly hard or distasteful, all of those things...

At the moment, my journey is a relatively solitary one. I am human, I enjoy the company of good people, I love cooking for and interacting with others, I need the solace that comes from interacting with a like minded person, as all humans do. 
At the moment though, my journey appears to be a solitary one. ALL attempts at letting people in to my inner circle, opening up to others, invites to a meal a coffee or a chat are being spurned or for totally valid and non personal reasons, just not working out (A sick child, bad timing, not enough notice, busy lives etc)

This has made me stop and pause...for three weeks now (possibly longer) the only contact I have had with other humans is superficial and fleeting; a five minute chat with the person making my coffee, a glance and a wave at a familiar face down town, a little joke and a laugh with the fabulous team at my local post office, all of which are wonderful moments, however, no lasting and deeper interaction.

So, since "coincidence" on this scale seems ludicrous, I have looked at this moment and asked WHAT??????

If you are a frequent reader of this blog (not that my posts have been all that frequent lately...sorry) then you know that I generally follow my instincts and the tugs at my heart that let me know louder than words that I am being offered a direction and guidance from the team of divine beings that I constantly interact with.

So...what is the direction, what am I being told, what lesson is there to learn in all of this solitary confinement I seem to be experiencing at the moment? I actually still don't know.

There are some things I DO know though.

Through each of these seeming "rejections" of me as a person (and P.S. I am an amazing person to know *silly grin*) I have constantly heard a phrase from a book I read once called The Four Agreements that states, "Stop taking things so personally!" OK...so, lesson being, breathe, relax, be grateful and thankful, and stop taking it personally...I get that, and have "chucked" some dissolving fluid on those thought patterns, and released the need to take it all personally..."Job done," I say to my team, "So now can I have some company?"

Hmmm...it seems "No," was the answer to that question as the polite declines, and some not so polite declines kept coming in.

"Be happy in your own company before you invite someone else in to join you. That way, you will know whether you enjoy their company, or whether you are seeking them out through desperation," is the next thought I heard whispered on the wind. This one seemed a little more complex that the "Don't take it personally" insight, I mean, after all, I am truly happy in my own company, I LOVE alone time and be myself time and not responsible for any one or anything time. I pondered, in a light and non thinking way, on this recurring thought. In the silent times, the alone times, the no company for weeks times I have noticed a tendency for my brain and ego (damn them...*Wry grin*) to intervene with ridiculous and ludicrous thoughts like, "You'll always be alone," "No one really loves and understands you," "You can only ever rely on yourself, everyone else will let you down," "Perhaps there's something wrong with you/me?" These thought patterns are totally dismissed for the ego driven rubbish that they are, from my concious mind at least, so I dug a little deeper and pondered a little further and found that perhaps still a part of me (a very small part of me) might possibly believe some of these things. I sat by moving water, breathed deeply, immersed myself totally in the moment and the surroundings and the universe as a whole, and again "chucked" some dissolving fluid on those particular types of thoughts and promised myself I will totally be on the look out for that kind of ego sabotage in future.....feeling lighter and more buoyant as each moment passes.

At this point, I have given up of fathoming the lesson...that's right, I threw in the towel *laughing* In the end, I stated quite emphatically to my divine team, "This is not what I want, nor what I contracted for, so, guide me to change it...in human time please" Then, I let the whole thing go and went to dinner by myself in a lovely restaurant. I took my drawing journal and sketched faeries while I waited for my meal. This made people look at my book and several struck up a conversation. I chatted to the people in charge of serving me for the evening, I had lovely interactions with complete strangers that were complimentary, and genuine and heart warming.

Then, it dawned on me (I'm a bit slow sometimes I'll admit) that the moment I stopped struggling and questioning and, I'll admit it, demanding, people were automatically attracted to my energy and bought themselves into my space, however fleetingly.

So, for the moment, my journey is a solitary one, but not for one minute am I really on my own. I am happy to be me, I am happy to be uniquely different, weird, and eccentric. I love me dearly, and I am/can be patient in waiting and learning and growing and for sometimes to NOT understand the next step or the current moment.

I write this post, wondering if somewhere, some beautiful, magnificent and totally awesome light being needed to hear that they are not the only one who feels lonely, abandoned and isolated at times? 

You're not alone dear one, I'm right there beside you at the moment.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Not a moment is wasted

I am asked to remember today that not one moment of our time here is a wasted moment whether we are procrastinating over doing something, whether we are in a moment of pain or grief, whether we are in a place or a job we would rather not be in r whether we are in a moment where we feel completely connected and at peace with ourselves and the world...all of it matters and not a moment is wasted.

Each moment we live is a moment we are remembering more about the contract we signed and the path we choose for ourselves. Each moment allows us to more perfectly walk the walk and to grow into being more perfectly us than the moment before. Even if the moment is teaching us what we do not wish for ourselves. 

I find myself remembering conversations with my senior art class where I was asking them to show me and demonstrate to me who they are as people, yet without using words or pictures of themselves. The concept title was "Symbol Soup" they were being asked to define who they are and who they choose to be using symbolism and moving away from the literal. Hard ask! However, one of the conversations that emerged as they thought and felt their way through what I asked them to do was the concept of defining who we are, by stating what we are not.

It seems then, that I am asked to remember this conversation to highlight to myself that moments that seem very much like ones I would not possibly have written for myself, and yet I have obviously humanly chosen to be in through free will, are moments where I am able to define my direction, by being confronted by what I "am not" or what I would no longer choose.

I asked the question of my team today, "May I know more, may I rewrite the contract so that I can remember all of the information that led me to sign?" In other words, can I know the whole picture, thus reducing the frustration of following each little step without knowing where it will lead. The answer was simple and immediate..."Yes."

I suddenly woke up to the understanding that the limits in knowledge, foresight and in outcomes all come from me. I CHOOSE to withhold this knowledge from myself at times, and if I can choose to withhold, I can also choose to have full disclosure.

Suddenly, as this thought occurred to me, I felt at peace, and all the things I was concerning me with no longer seemed to matter any more (well at least not in the sense that I need concern myself with the outcome.) I felt freer and lighter. YAY team *smile*

So, I walk into the world with my new set of understandings tomorrow and see where they take me.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Committment

Often over the last few days I have had cause to look at the things I am committed to and also the process through which I make commitments.

Obviously, (or maybe not to some) the commitments we make to ourselves should be our first priority. It is when we are ignoring these commitments, or haven't made any at all, that the world starts to unravel a bit.

I LOVE my friends, I really do, they are more than just friends, they share a part of me that not everyone gets to see. However, I also know, that at times, totally unbeknown  to them, they can take advantage of me. This is not a malicious and nasty thing, in fact, if we were to play the blame game (not one I choose actually) then it would be all down to me since we teach people how to treat us. It is through me saying "yes" when I feel "no" and vice versa, that these things happen.

Periodically, and it seems now is one of those times, *smile* I take time to review the commitments I am making to myself. One of the ways I choose to do this is to sit down with pen and paper and write a set of wedding vows to me. Sounds weird? Think about it this way, wedding vows are the commitments you make to a person you love with your whole heart, body and soul; they are the most important person in your world and you wish to publicly acknowledge that right? Otherwise, why would you marry them? Well then, YOU are the same, precious and beloved being and your commitment to yourself should be no less heartfelt and genuine.

In neglecting this part of our contract with ourselves and our divine team, we are expressing to the universe that what we want, what we need and who we are don't matter as much as other people! This is not the message I wish to send out. The result is that people will inadvertently  and overtly take advantage of us and ask more than we are willing to give.

So, on that note, I am going to sit down right now and write those vows to myself, starting with some REALLY important ones:

• I promise to respect my personal boundaries, acknowledge that I am a perfect and divine being and that I have the right to say "no" when I need to without feeling guilty.
• I promise to believe that what I need and who I am is important and to take time out for myself.
• I promise to only say positive things about myself and show the highest regard for me as a person.
• I promise to forgive myself when I make mistakes, and know that next time, I will do the very best I can.
• I promise to acknowledge that while sometimes I do not live up to my own expectations, that I am doing the best I can do with the current skills I have, and I will not punish myself.

There are more, but I thought I would share the ones at the top of my list.

With love and light

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Honouring yourself

Something that comes up for me quite often is the need to reinforce and honour my own personal boundaries. I am often a bit of a people pleaser, I have faith, trust and belief that people will not act to hurt me, and have trouble seeing it when they do. People have often commented to me that I should expect people to let me down and when they don't, OI will have a nice surprise....to that...I say, "No thanks. That's just not who I am."

Having said that though, I struggle at times to adhere to my own personal boundaries. I find myself doing things I don't want to prioritise time and energy to just because I don't want to let people down. I find that I will put more importance on the need of others, rather than on what I need personally, and a whole lot of other things like this.

What I have relearned lately, is that in doing this, in allowing others to be more important than I am to myself, I give people permission to stampede all over my boundaries.

I have also relearned that I can set a boundary, respectfully stick to it, and not give it any more energy. A dear friend of mine reminded me that all I have to do in these scenarios is set my intention, and then stick to it. Once I have made the decision, it is no longer necessary to think about it, discuss it or to in any other way feed energy into the situation. Done and dusted! Such marvellous advice *smile*

So now, setting the intention to just be me, to stick to my own boundaries and agendas (living from love and light) and to no longer feed energy into situations by over thinking them or discussing them further.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Protect yourself as the butterfly emerges

Several times today I have heard the message, from several different people that you cannot place your complete trust in anyone other than yourself because eventually, people will let you down.....

Oh I cannot tell you how my heart hurts to hear this information passed on.

I cannot say that it is even possible for me to ascribe to this message, however, it did bring to mind an important lesson for me today about protecting myself.

I have found that the further I walk along my chosen path and the more I develop into the true me, with understanding of my divine connection, the more sensitive I seem to be. I am food sensitive (vegetarian only for me now) I am often sound and smell sensitive and I am most definitely sensitive in exposure to nastiness and displays of hurtful behaviour whether towards myself, towards others or just in a movie or TV programme. 

Rather than diminishing my capacity to function in the world (the sensitivity that is) this has led me to be more careful about setting boundaries and protecting myself from harm, either emotional or physical.

There are people who attempt to tell me that I live in a fantasy world, that I am not who I claim to be and who attempt to "dream steal" in other ways like telling me not to pursue something, "for my own good" and to "give me a dose of reality." These are not bad people, in fact, some of them are people I love very much, and I do not judge or condemn them for this view of the world.

What I do though, is choose very carefully, the people who are allowed in to "hear" and "see" the real me who is emerging, especially when I feel a little vulnerable and fragile. I place FULL trust in myself, in my divine team and in a few humans I know *smile* who are very special to me. Other people still get the real me, I walk my walk and am authentic in all ways, however, they are not made privy to my thoughts, to my aspirations and to my growth.

As I grow, I choose the people who get to see that growth and walk beside me. 

It is not a matter of judgement, it IS a matter of protecting myself. To love without allowing others to abuse me, to give without being taken advantage of, to trust, but not be naive.

I draw on my instinct and my divine connection to help me know the difference here.

Show your pure heart only to those that inspire
With love and light
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I am experiencing a rather interesting headache this evening and am choosing to let pictures speak for me today *smile*

Know you are loved and that you ARE all powerful.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxo

Silence your mind...

The most amazing thing about being who we are as humans is that our soul/spirit/oneness (whichever term you prefer) knows already all that is has to do in order to heal, restore, replenish and carry on with fulfilling our life's purpose.

How is it then that so many people seem to feel confusion, unhappiness and ill health? Myself included on more than one occasion I might add!

The thing that we sometimes struggle with is NOT, not knowing what to do and how to do it, but silencing our mind so that we can listen to the directions we are being given.

If I was asked today what the ONE single most important thing I have remembered in the last ten years, it would be to learn to still my mind, silence my brain/thinking and just listen. This is all I do now when I come to a cross roads, when I am hurting, when I am feeling a little lost, confused or overwhelmed; I sit comfortably, silence the ego and brain based thought patterns, and I listen to what my soul whispers quietly.

Of course the logical next step is to FOLLOW those urgings *smile*

Some of the techniques I have developed over time in order to make my brain just BE QUIET, are to:

1. TELL my brain to be quiet *silly grin* As soon as thoughts and "directed dwelling" or "thinking about" start to happen, I verbally instruct my brain to stay out of it! At the beginning, I had to do this really often, almost constantly for it to work. As I kept this up though, my brain got the message and responded quicker. I changed my habits from dwelling on and picking at things, to just sitting still and listening. Our bodies have terrific muscle memories and can be trained to respond the way WE desire.

2. I remove myself from all noise and distraction. For me this is sitting in a quiet corner of a garden, under a tree, near running water or preferably, all of the above. Nature is a wonderful healer and provides many opportunities for peace, solitude and tranquillity  I find it much easier to listen if I am surrounded by the quietitude of nature.

3. Music, I find, is also a brilliant way to, if not quiet, then to drown out the brain worries and allow the heart and soul to speak. Listening to something soft and soothing, humming along or singing out loud actually flushes the body with oxygen clearing the senses and allowing pure heart to shine through (Great for in the car *smile*)

4. In times when it has been/is really tough to get my brain to mind it's own business, I ask my divine team to step in. I expressly give the divine my permission to flick the switch leaving my brain and ego in the dark while illuminating my soul and heart voice. The visualisation helps me too.

These are some of many different techniques that I have used and continued to use to keep in practise with this skill. It doesn't actually matter how you do it; whatever works for you is the best thing to do. What matters is constant repetition of the skill until your brain learns to stay out of it. In doing this, you can clearly listen to the messages your soul is delivering to you.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Acknowledge that you have all you need

We are, each of us, born with all the knowledge we need in order to be our perfect divine selves, and to live our perfect divine life.

It is a sad shame sometimes, that along the path of living this human life, that we sometimes forget what we know, and sometimes we bury it so deep that we feel lost and confused.

This is why instead of saying, "I learnt" something, I say that I "remembered" it. 

All that is required to tap into this store of remembered information is to learn to listen to the messages our body and soul send us. To follow the little impulses and instincts that each of us feel every day within every situation. Sometimes, I have been so good at burying or ignoring these messages, that it will take an event for me to remember to listen again.

It is so easy to let the business and noisiness of life get in the way; to establish routines of safety and to not operate outside them. Our brain is, of course, also adding to the confusion and attempting to add fear, guilt, shame and hatred to blur the message as well....no wonder I feel a little lost sometimes *wry smile*

All that we need in order to live the perfect and joy filled life that is our birthright, is to remember to listen...or, as the case may be, relearn how to listen...all that we need is encoded within us, all the knowledge, wisdom, experience and courage...we just have to remember.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You did your best

Sometimes we get so caught up in our journey and our need to remember or learn new skills that we forget something REALLY important.

Every now and again it is a great and amazing part of our journey to stop and take a quick glance behind us. Think of it a little like driving a car; there is the front windscreen, but there is also a rear view mirror. While it is essential to keep eyes forward most of the time in order to navigate and to keep focused on where we're going, just like driving a car, it is just as important to take a quick glance to the back and sides on occasion in order to be able to see our progress!

Take a minute or two to really LOOK at how far you have come. SEE the journey you have made and give yourself a pat on the back. ACKNOWLEDGE the effort you went to and the moments that have been and gone. Even if you perceive you have failed, give thanks for and credit to, the effort and learning that have happened along the way.

We aren't required to be perfect. My goal is to be the best example of a HUMAN BEING that I can be.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

P.S. I was thinking of a gorgeous being I know who loves all things car, and I couldn't stay away from this analogy...you know who you are ;)

When you are afraid

One of the most insidious of all human constructs is fear. It can get in under your skin when you least expect it and make you feel as though you "can't" as though there is "danger" as though you are not "worthy" and all of those other things that go with fear.

NONE of these things are real, they are illusionary. While I know this is a really easy thing to say, it can be just as easy to put into place and remember in those times when fear seems to be taking over.

Change in sometimes uncomfortable, and difficult (well seemingly anyway) and these are the times when fear will start to make itself known and try to stop you. This is your brain talking, not your heart; it is the ego, not pure love and definitely not from a divine origin...my rule of thumb? If it's negative, it is not divine.

I have a sure fire strategy that works for me when I feel the tendrils of fear start to creep into my thinking...I sing.

Yep, loudly (and badly sometimes) I sing and sing and sing. It is really hard to focus on fear when you are singing. I pick a song that motivates and inspires me, that matches the mood of where I choose to be, and I sing it. Sometimes inside my head, sometimes out loud, but I sing.

Fear is a defence mechanism our brain uses to keep us firmly in our comfort zone. Letting go of fear means embracing the magnificence of the world and all that it offers those who walk boldly.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Downloads

I have these moments sometimes, moments when I just seem to know exactly what is going to transpire, the exact right thing to say or do, the correct direction to take and all of the consequences that go with all of the possible options. I call these moments downloads ever since a beautiful friend of mine first mentioned the term. It really seemed to fit the circumstances. One moment I'm standing there (or whatever *smile*) and the next moment I am in the middle of actions or words I didn't even know were there or didn't know were needed.

These moments are the moments in time when I feel the closest to my divine team; so close that they are almost a tangible presence by my side. When I was just a bit younger, I was always at a loss to explain what was going on and some times, as a result, I did not act on the information I had because I didn't know or acknowledge where the information came from. I also faced a great deal of frustration at times because I KNEW exactly what would work or the right information, residing in a child's body and knowing answers you had no "tangible" way of knowing comes with some downfalls when you are trying to tell the adults around you what they need to know to "fix" the problem *laugh* I am sure you can imagine.

I am sure there have been moments in time where you have felt a similar experience. Sometimes we call it precognition, prescience, clairvoyance (really don't like that word), psychic....whatever... the important thing is not the name we give these moments, but allowing ourselves to trust this information as having a divine source.

These are the moments in time where everything is working perfectly, and like all skills, once practised, it gets easier and easier. Being able to listen to intuitive sparks and trust that the information you are receiving is genuine and guidance is a beautiful moment that helps the journey become smoother.

With love and light 
(and an amazing sense of peace)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

It's not my story

One of the things I have remembered lately (and have to be reminded of frequently) is the concept, "It's not my story." Usually this remembering comes on the back of me attempting to make someone elses story mine *wry grin*

By this I mean buying into the story of others as they tell it to me, getting emotionally involved, when really, the best thing I could do for them is to be a good listener and that's it. As an indigo warrior, I am easily riled at times by things that are unjust, dishonest or mean. It makes me want to take my sword from the scabbard and leap to the defence...*laugh* In reality? This is not my story, and I am not required to change it, nor to do anything about it unless prompted (and that's rare) other than listen and offer comfort. 

When I buy into the pain of someone else and become emotionally involved, I am actually NOT helping. It took me a long time to remember this. It is through seeing objectively and offering solace without judgement that I can actually help in the healing process. It feels like I am helping sometimes to be horrified at an injustice, to voice my outrage at a situation, to leap immediately to the defence...all I am really doing though, is feeding fuel to the fire...this is never helpful. 

I coach myself to not give energy to perceived negative experiences by going on about them and yet, in the guise of "helping" I have encouraged others at times to rehash and allowed them to continue to feed energy into a situation. This is not intentional, but this is what is actually happening.

By reminding myself, "This is not my story" I am able to step away from judgement and from adding energy into an already negative situation. I am less likely t carry this away with me too. 

By listening to someone who is hurting, but making no comment that is a judgement or condemnation, I am helping the other person to move on and past their situation as well.

In anyone's life, no matter what is happening, I find I need to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, I cannot change their circumstances even though I can see clearly what would help at times, The ONLY person who can change a life story is the person who's story it is. "It's not my story" doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of others, it doesn't mean I won't help or can't help, it doesn't mean the same thing as "It's not my problem...good luck with that" it means that I acknowledge that the person who is hurting has the power and knowledge inside of them to change their own story. My role is to listen, and to be compassionate and loving...that is more than enough.

With love and light (and the knowledge that you are all powerful)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Full circle

There is a reason that a circle has been seen as a mystic and important type of symbol across many religions through the ages. It is a symbol for mother earth, it is the halo, it is the yin and yang, it is the beginning and the ending and so many, many more things. A circle is the perfect representative for spirituality I think, no matter what your interpretation is....

When we get down to it, our lives really are a circle too. When I start to think about where I am going and the path I have chosen as well as the people in it, I visualise a circle. I "see" all the parts of that circle (kind of like a bicycle wheel) as important moments, one following the other. The reason for this visualisation is to remind myself that there are no mistakes, there are moments in time you may think you would have liked to turn out differently, there are moments where things seemed dull and bleak, there are moments when you (I) have been less than your (my) very best. In the end however, we return to the circle, we continue on our path and the place before is wiped as the next moment arrives.

Wow, that was a really long way of saying that there really is no need to focus our attention on moments where things did not work out well. Reason being, we will be presented with a similar moment sometime in the future and we are given the opportunity to try it again and this time, meet our own expectations and do it "the right way" (for us that is *smile*) This is why it is a little bit futile to constantly go over moments that weren't the best, or to rehash things that are negative. In doing this, we are making it highly likely that, when presented with the same, or similar situation again, we will do things the same way. The attraction principle mixed in with a few other things *laugh* If you focus on the way things were, you close yourself off to the way things could be.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There is more

One of the things that have held me back the most is my own conception that "this is all there is" and if I am honest, the thought that "this was all I deserved". I thought I was being really clever by saying, "Whatever I did in my last life must have been pretty bad because the karma I am living through in this one is terrible." In some ways this was an attempt to comfort myself, to make it OK that I was in a pretty bad place, to justify the fact that I had not made decisions and taken actions to shift myself from where I was.

So, I am taking it upon myself now to let you know...there is SO MUCH MORE...there is far more to life than you may expect, there is also far more to you.

I LOVE it when people underestimate me *laugh* I love their preconceptions and opinions, it makes me laugh and is so incredibly funny. I don't feel the need to make that situation uncomfortable any more (well not out loud anyway, I still laugh about ti in my head) I don't feel it necessary to prove how wrong someone has been or is continuing to be about me either...it's their call, their opinion.

I LOVE teenagers for their sayings if nothing else. When someone is making assumptions about a teenager that is totally wrong (well in my experience anyway) they respond with a very deadpan "Seems legit'" *laugh* A completely and appropriate response to my way of thinking. Maybe you have to hear one of them say it? A little passive aggressive maybe, but it completely fits the situation.

Look into your heart, if you feel a yearning or longing it is a great indicator to you that you KNOW there is more out there for you. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! You have not 'earned" penance or purgatory in a past life, you are not being made to suffer for something you did or did not do, there is no punishment with the divine...none...we do that to ourselves.

Take a look around you, feel your way to what makes you happy and start to make decisions that bring you closer to that. If you are in a position where you are uncertain about what you want or feel too low to decide, then give the whole situation over to your divine team. They contracted to help you, let them do it. Many a time I have heard myself utter, "Well I don't know, so I'm just going to let you guys deal with it please. I'm off line, contact me when we've been through the tough stuff and I'll start to pay attention to the world again. In the meantime, holiday in faery land for me thank you."

To "settle" for less is to not honour YOUR contract with the divine. You were designed to be happy, to love, to experience great joy. That love starts within you. Search it out, share it around...live, love and have joy.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The man at the markets

I just want to tell you a little story tonight. Every couple of weeks I attend my local markets in Bowen, Queensland, Australia (a delightful place by the way *smile*) to sign books and pass on some faery magic. It is a morning filled with light work, sometimes I just sit there all day drawing, knitting, talking...whatever seems to be the order of the day. 

The markets are run by a community organisation which does amazing and fantastic work with the community, and in particular, is organised by one man. 

Every week this man is a delight, he makes me laugh with his cheeky leprechaun ways. I often spend the morning listening to his banter and shenanigans, hearing his booming voice all over the market place. He always has a joke, a positive comment, a story to tell. Always he is happy, always his eyes are laughing, always he brings such joy, just by being him.

I draw angels and faeries and all sorts of other magical beings as the mood takes me and as they present themselves in my heart with the urge to draw them on the page. Sometimes I may draw four or five in a sitting, sometimes I will go for weeks without drawing a single one. It is a guarantee though, that every time I speak with this man, a magical being will pop straight into my head and insist on being drawn. He brings so much light, that it is impossible to resist *laugh*

This week, he came to collect the fees, and among his usual banter and jokes, he confesses he has recently been with family, one of whom has cancer and is dying...I was stunned a little. Even though his heart is hurting, and his contract involved this pain, he chose to continue being a delight and a bringer of light. I looked him in the eye (really looked) and saw his pain etched there and yet, he smiled at me and then continued on his merry way bringing laughter to others. 

What an amazing being, what an honour to know someone like this, and a total joy to be in his company. 

The point of this story, other than to share the knowledge of this beautiful being, is to show that all we really have to do, all that is ever asked of us, is to shine out light on the world, to be authentically us, to embrace and love no matter how much we may be hurting and sometimes even because we are hurting. By doing so, we inspire others to shine their own light.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Indecision

I have seen lately, that a lot of people seem to be coming to a bit of a "cross-roads" so to speak; a fork in the road with two very desirable outcomes. At this point, there has been confusion in some people on which way to turn, which path to take. It's really easy when that fork comes before you and one road leads to a path where there may be pain, and the other appears to lead to joy and light...well duh...pick the light, pick the light *smile* What if they both seem amazing? Alternatively, what if they both seem a little dark?


I can give you all of the platitudes about weighing up all the pro's and con's, listen to your heart and soul, ask for guidance (all of which are true and helpful mind you) but in the end, something more practical might fit you better.


When I come to a place like this, I do all of the above (weigh up, listen and ask) however, there is one more thing I like to do before making the final decision.


I sit in a quiet place, usually my garden because plants are REALLY helpful in being able to clear a path through the "human stuff" and get to the good stuff *smile*, and then I begin to picture ONE of the alternatives. I let my mind wander along that path, I see myself in that future and the results of choosing that particular road. I project myself into that future and "walk around in it" for a while. Then, I spend a minute or two clearing away that imagery, and do the same thing for the other path. I keep doing this for all of the paths I feel I have to choose between.


While I am doing this, I pay CLOSE attention to how my body responds to the "picture" of each of the alternative "futures" or paths. A tightening of the tummy muscles, little spasms in any of my muscles, clenched hands, or a tingling or pain between the shoulder blades are my bodies really clear indicators that that particular choice is not for me. Feeling light, getting goose bumps, tingling in fingers and toes, warmth across my chest; these are indicators that my body is choosing this path.


Remember your body, right down to the molecular level, is connected to/with the divine, it is a pure conduit for that energy and each cell remembers the contract you signed, even if your brain doesn't. When it comes time to make a choice, use your bodies indicators to help you decide.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Where there's love, there's hope

There are two VERY powerful and all encompassing weapons in the light worker arsenal! Two things that have the amazing power to change the world, and in fact, ARE changing the world. They exist simultaneously, but are not entirely dependant on each other. (In other words, you can have one without the other, but they usually exist together.


I am, of course, talking about love and hope!


I know you know the moment when you feel absolutely wonderful and full of joy and love. Maybe it's when you meet the love of your life, maybe when you hold your child, cuddle your cat or play with your dog. Maybe it is a bright, shining, random moment in time as you look outside at the beauty of nature and instantly smile, feeling joyful even though you aren't sure why or there seems no particular cause. THIS is the power of love. Take a moment to cast your heart back to one of those moments (we've all had them even though they may have been fleeting for some) and FEEL it, relive it and let the feeling wash over you again as though it was 5 minutes ago.....


....THAT's the power that is love.


When immersing yourself in that feeling, a little spark starts to glow inside you...anything seems possible, things "slip into place" the world is full of opportunity and a never ending supply of joyous moments...


...enter the power of hope *smile*


In a moment where love seems a little far away, immerse yourself in remembered love and the spark of hope will emerge. Feed that feeling, let the joy of love and hope wash over you. In letting yourself remember only the joy and the love, you allow your body to remember, to feel it, and thus to focus on finding it again.


When it seems a little dark, wash yourself in love light, hope will grow and in remembering, you will create it again.


With love and light
xoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

When I wake in the morning I feel good, then  I travel through the day spreading love and sprinkling faery dust. I am hurt, I am misunderstood, I heal, I help, I am tired. I have moments where I want to give up, there are times I don't think it's worth the effort to help those who don't wish to be helped or take kindness and generosity for weakness. There are places I don't wish to go, choices I would rather not make and people I want no association with. Sometimes I hide out at home and barricade myself in my sacred space; other times I feel I have to go and see others and be involved in the world outside my cave even though I don't really want to. I have moments where I don't want to do anything, can't force myself to do anything then feel guilt over doing nothing when there is "so much to do." I leave my dishes on the sink for three days, I don't do my housework, I just sit and read a book all day. 


In short....


I'm human...


and I thank the divine everyday, that I don't have to face any of this alone.


No matter what the day brings, no matter how tired and worn out I feel. As I lay down to sleep and ask my team to surround me and heal me of the wounds I may have sustained; I KNOW I am loved unconditionally.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

If nothing changes

Have you ever heard that saying, "If nothing changes...then nothing changes." ? Another way I have heard the same thing said is, "If you always do what you've always done, then you will always get what you have always got." It all amounts to the same thing though...it comes back to the fact that we have a choice about everything, and if we keep making the same choices, and never take a chance on making a different one, then the outcomes will be the same.


I have made many, many, many different choices in the last few years. I have taken a different road every time, I have jumped in with both feet, I have decided to choose forgiveness over bitterness and anger...so many things that I have chosen "differently' for in the last few years, and yet, I find today that there are some actions that I keep repeating.


For me, this has highlighted that while I have made the changes in small gradual steps in order to change my life and still be within a certain measure of comfort, there comes a time (which for me is now *smile) where for MAJOR difference, a MAJOR change in choices is required. 


Time for a life review then...smile.


So I am looking today at all the things I love and cherish and all of the things that I am not all that fond of in my current life, and how I would see that changed to better suit my current needs. I have looked at all aspects with honesty and purity and set my intentions for a future I am constantly manifesting, but which has not yet come to fruition (well not fast enough for my liking anyway *wry grin*)


All this is well and good for the moment I am sitting in my sacred space, surrounded by pure love energy, not impacted upon by any other being except in a positive and loving way...but very soon, I will make the choice to leave this space, and once again enter a reality where other's are involved...what then?


So here;s how I am deciding to deal with that...


I have asked my team to back me up, reinforce my words and give me a REALLY STRONG (because I can be a bit stubborn) impulse to follow the new path I have chosen, rather than following in the deeply grooved path of habit. I have written little signs to go in key places that remind me of the choice I have made and my intention to do what is right for me within this new choice. Finally, I have told all of my trusted friends of my new choice and willingly given them permission to call me up and check on my progress, as well as give me a firm, human nudge (*giggle*) if I falter in my resolve or find myself loosing focus on my intentions. I have also told my brain to "stay out of it" since it's a bit lazy and would rather continuing to do what it has always done.


Love yourself, choose your path, set your intentions, call for back up from the divine, the stride forward with your head high!


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Being at the pointy end

Being a the "pointy end" simply means to be a forerunner, a person who leads and comes first; it is a saying meaning that you are the one who goes first to lead the way for others. Those of us who choose the path of love, light and forgiveness over all other considerations, even of race and creed, may well be considered to be at the "pointy end" of the spiritual path.


It is exciting to know that in some small way, we, as light workers, may lead others (mainly by example) to lead their own perfect lives, and in turn that others will lead theirs and so on until a virtual avalanche of people choose to follow the path of perfect and divine health and well-being! Whoohoo! (Especially when it is phrased like that *smile* sounds impressive doesn't it?)


There are some decided disadvantages too, and I think it is important to know them and to understand them. In doing this, we can be more prepared for the "human" affects.


Firstly, there is often no-one to lead the way for us; by definition, we are the for-runners and therefore no one has walked this way first and so can advise us, guide us, warn us of the pitfalls etc. If you are feeling like you are alone and wandering at times, don't loose heart and think that you are alone in your beliefs. Understand that this is a part of the journey at times, but that there are more of us than you may think.


The second disadvantage I suppose is that we are so different from those around us that at times it seems unbearable to be included in things that others are doing. This in turn can lead to a real sense of loneliness and isolation. In reality, we are never alone for our team walks with us. This doesn't seem to be much consolation at times when we might just be yearning for a great big, human, hug *laugh* This is why the advent of blogs and social networking sites are so much of an advantage to us. Two of the people I am closest too, who I can confide in, who walk the same path as I do (but in their own way of course), who I learn from and sometimes teach, who I feel I can truly speak my mind to without fear of judgement...well, both live 1800km away from me, yet I speak and share with them everyday. It doesn't always stop the feeling of a sense of isolation (after all a virtual hug is just not the same is it?) but it does mean that it is possible to communicate with other like minded souls, even if they are a world away.


As far as I know and understand, these are the only disadvantages to being at the "pointy end" so to speak. Not really all that much is it considering the influence we lay down by living our own perfect life and reaching out to the world with only love and forgiveness in our hearts may actually change the way energy flows and help countless live their dreams too just by being who we are.


It is perfectly understandable to feel lonely, frightened, tired and sometimes depleted by the work we do as forerunners. Nourish your soul and yourself at these times, be gentle with yourself and move on.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxox