Your circle of influence are the people around you on whom you can have an impact. They might be your friends and family, your work colleagues, the people who access your face book site or just someone you meet on the street.
Whether you are aware of it or not, you have an influence over all the people you have contact with. That level of influence could be great in the case of close friends and family or work mates you see every day. It can also be small, yet significant for the people you "brush by" on a daily basis.
In the past I have been simply amazed at the impact that one phrase or word or action of mine has had and the lasting ripple effect. Not always for the good either.
One incident that stands out in my mind really clearly is of a woman I worked with a few years ago. The day I met her, I was busily working on some planning documents on the computer when she asked me where to find something. I replied that while I would love to help her, I simply had no idea where to find the document she was after and suggested someone else to ask. As I was busy at the time trying to get work done, I did not look up from my computer when I answered her. In my mind, I had politely answered her question and given her another source of information, in her mind I was being rude, arrogant and completely unhelpful. The lasting effects of this singular moment in time? Well, from that moment forward, this woman hated me and actively looked for ways to undermine me and discredit me. Seems a bit far fetched? Possibly, but it is true none the less. She admitted that this was the reason she did not like me when I confronted her over some of the actions she was taking to my detriment.
This incident made it very clear to me that the smallest action we take, can have long and lasting impact on our daily lives, and we may never know what that is...but we will surely feel the effects of it.
Another such incident is just recently. At school I felt I was one of the "nerdy" kids. I was an awkward and anti social teenager who had a few very close friends that I was happy with, but I was not particularly popular. (I might add this didn't often worry me). Recently I have come back into contact with a few of these people and to my utter and lasting surprise, she expressed that she had always found me intriguing and liked to listen to the interesting (if different) things I would say from time to time. The inference was that my way of thinking had affected her while we were in high school enough that she still retained the curiosity and interest she had then. I am not going to confess exactly how long ago that was :D suffice it to say, long enough for me to be stopped dead in my tracks that she remembered. Same with a colleague I worked with for no more than a year. I enjoyed working on shifts with him as he was funny and interesting and made the work seem easier. When I found his name on FB, I sent him a message asking how he and his family were and if he remembered me. His reply? "Of course I remember you, you were one of the best people to work with." Again I was stunned.
What an impact to have on someone, what a nice warm glow that accompanies the thought that you have made a positive difference to someone even if it was only for a moment in time. It doesn't feel very good though to know that if I had only turned in my chair and addressed the woman I worked with, if I had only taken my eyes off what I was doing and therefore looked as genuine as I was, perhaps that whole situation would have been better for us both.
I will not dwell on the effects of a moment in time longer than it takes to forgive myself for the thoughtlessness and her for her consequent actions. However, I can remember the life lesson delivered so clearly...even the smallest actions can have major impacts on your circle of influence. I consciously choose to make as many of those interactions as positive as possible.
There will always be people who will react in a negative way, and people who misinterpret and misunderstand your intentions. The impact can be minimised thought by keeping in mind that every action has a consequence.
I for one would rather be getting emails and messages stating my positive influence than trying to figure out why someone has a seemingly irrational hatred towards me...
No comments:
Post a Comment