Monday, 4 June 2012

How do you understand you?

The mistake I have sometimes made in understanding myself is to look at who I am and what I am through the eyes of others. I have at times, erred in judgement and allowed what other people think of me, to become how I think of me...what a trap!

The way others perceive you has absolutely NO basis in reality, well not yours anyway. The basis for the way they look at you and understand you is perception which is coloured by their own baggage and experiences. 

I remember when I was a child, I would sing REALLY loudly in church; I sang loud for the joy of singing, I sang loud because I LOVED the music, I sang loud because I didn't know how loud my loud was *smile* My best friend when I was 12 years old asked me, "Why do you sing like a horse?" I was really hurt to start with, I didn't even know what that really meant, only that the way she said it, gave me to understand this was a really bad thing and that perhaps I was embarrassing myself in some way I didn't understand. So, I stopped singing in church, I came to the understanding that I was a terrible singer. I still am a little embarrassed and EXTREMELY nervous at singing where anyone can really hear me, even though I have been told since (as well as feeling it myself) that I have quite a pleasant singing voice. So still, 24 years later, that one person's perception of me, motivated by only God knows what, has formed some of the basis for which I understand who I am and I have to work a bit harder to overcome the fear compulsions that are the result.

This is just one little example of how letting others decide who you are and what you can and can't do, what you look like, what your preferences are in all things, what you are good at or not good at, can be detrimental to you. Not only was my "friend" incorrect, she was judging me. Not only did I allow her to do that, I believed her too *sad smile*

The number one thing I keep in my mind when someone shares with me their perceptions of me...if the statement is a negative one, it does not come from a place of love and therefore has NO connection to the divine or me. (I also use this "rule" with my self-talk too).

Remember the way other people see you is their perception...this has nothing to do with YOUR reality and can be completely ignored!

With love and light


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