A Solitary Journey

There are times on this journey of mine, the one I contracted for, the one I agreed to, when I have been given moments to pause and go...WHAT?

I am sure I am not at all alone in this experience. Every one, every single person has moments in their lives where they have cause to wonder why something happens, why ugliness is allowed, why loneliness occurs, why it seems at times that our life journey is particularly hard or distasteful, all of those things...

At the moment, my journey is a relatively solitary one. I am human, I enjoy the company of good people, I love cooking for and interacting with others, I need the solace that comes from interacting with a like minded person, as all humans do. 
At the moment though, my journey appears to be a solitary one. ALL attempts at letting people in to my inner circle, opening up to others, invites to a meal a coffee or a chat are being spurned or for totally valid and non personal reasons, just not working out (A sick child, bad timing, not enough notice, busy lives etc)

This has made me stop and pause...for three weeks now (possibly longer) the only contact I have had with other humans is superficial and fleeting; a five minute chat with the person making my coffee, a glance and a wave at a familiar face down town, a little joke and a laugh with the fabulous team at my local post office, all of which are wonderful moments, however, no lasting and deeper interaction.

So, since "coincidence" on this scale seems ludicrous, I have looked at this moment and asked WHAT??????

If you are a frequent reader of this blog (not that my posts have been all that frequent lately...sorry) then you know that I generally follow my instincts and the tugs at my heart that let me know louder than words that I am being offered a direction and guidance from the team of divine beings that I constantly interact with.

So...what is the direction, what am I being told, what lesson is there to learn in all of this solitary confinement I seem to be experiencing at the moment? I actually still don't know.

There are some things I DO know though.

Through each of these seeming "rejections" of me as a person (and P.S. I am an amazing person to know *silly grin*) I have constantly heard a phrase from a book I read once called The Four Agreements that states, "Stop taking things so personally!" OK...so, lesson being, breathe, relax, be grateful and thankful, and stop taking it personally...I get that, and have "chucked" some dissolving fluid on those thought patterns, and released the need to take it all personally..."Job done," I say to my team, "So now can I have some company?"

Hmmm...it seems "No," was the answer to that question as the polite declines, and some not so polite declines kept coming in.

"Be happy in your own company before you invite someone else in to join you. That way, you will know whether you enjoy their company, or whether you are seeking them out through desperation," is the next thought I heard whispered on the wind. This one seemed a little more complex that the "Don't take it personally" insight, I mean, after all, I am truly happy in my own company, I LOVE alone time and be myself time and not responsible for any one or anything time. I pondered, in a light and non thinking way, on this recurring thought. In the silent times, the alone times, the no company for weeks times I have noticed a tendency for my brain and ego (damn them...*Wry grin*) to intervene with ridiculous and ludicrous thoughts like, "You'll always be alone," "No one really loves and understands you," "You can only ever rely on yourself, everyone else will let you down," "Perhaps there's something wrong with you/me?" These thought patterns are totally dismissed for the ego driven rubbish that they are, from my concious mind at least, so I dug a little deeper and pondered a little further and found that perhaps still a part of me (a very small part of me) might possibly believe some of these things. I sat by moving water, breathed deeply, immersed myself totally in the moment and the surroundings and the universe as a whole, and again "chucked" some dissolving fluid on those particular types of thoughts and promised myself I will totally be on the look out for that kind of ego sabotage in future.....feeling lighter and more buoyant as each moment passes.

At this point, I have given up of fathoming the lesson...that's right, I threw in the towel *laughing* In the end, I stated quite emphatically to my divine team, "This is not what I want, nor what I contracted for, so, guide me to change it...in human time please" Then, I let the whole thing go and went to dinner by myself in a lovely restaurant. I took my drawing journal and sketched faeries while I waited for my meal. This made people look at my book and several struck up a conversation. I chatted to the people in charge of serving me for the evening, I had lovely interactions with complete strangers that were complimentary, and genuine and heart warming.

Then, it dawned on me (I'm a bit slow sometimes I'll admit) that the moment I stopped struggling and questioning and, I'll admit it, demanding, people were automatically attracted to my energy and bought themselves into my space, however fleetingly.

So, for the moment, my journey is a solitary one, but not for one minute am I really on my own. I am happy to be me, I am happy to be uniquely different, weird, and eccentric. I love me dearly, and I am/can be patient in waiting and learning and growing and for sometimes to NOT understand the next step or the current moment.

I write this post, wondering if somewhere, some beautiful, magnificent and totally awesome light being needed to hear that they are not the only one who feels lonely, abandoned and isolated at times? 

You're not alone dear one, I'm right there beside you at the moment.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Another key secret to success

OK, so I'm on a bit of a roll at the moment *smile* and am being asked to pass on these really simple, yet impactful truths about the way I view myself and the things I do in terms of being successful.

Just as an aside, we all have our own models for what "success" actually looks like, obviously, when I am talking about this topic, I am totally influenced by my own definition *wry grin*

So today, I was confronted with remembering another key to living a successful life. It is so simple I actually overlooked it as a key factor...duh.

Speaking kindly to yourself and loving your whole self from your every particle is one of the BIGGEST contributors to being successful. 

There is simply NO point to putting yourself down, punishing yourself, or dwelling on mistakes and perceived rejections. The only thing this does to and for you, is to slow you down and undermine your confidence in taking the next step.

Being human, there WILL be mistakes, there ARE moments I am sure I would have liked to choose another path or another way of dealing with a situation. There are times when I feel TOTALLY lost, and places I wish with all of my heart that I had NEVER put myself in or chosen (Reading the fine print on the contract far more closely next time *laughing).

However, what I know now (finally) is that NONE of these things has the power to stop me, to dissuade me or to prevent me from seeking my truth and my successful life. None of these things are worth punishing myself relentlessly for, nor are they necessarily moments I "had to go through" even though they have certainly acted to show me my strengths. None of these things, "mistakes" if you will can define who I choose to be. They are only moments in time, not great ones, but all the better for that.

Forgive instantly, love unconditionally and respect yourself for not only who you are, but the person you choose to be from this moment on.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Believe...

Can you feel it, can you feel it?

In my head right now is that song that goes, "Can you feel it? Can you feel it....can you feeeel it?" I have no idea who wrote or sang in, sometime in the 80's...right now though, a very poignant message in many ways.

Over the last few days I have made a really conscious effort and decision to no longer shelter the whole of me from the world. A lot of the time, up until now, I do not take my whole self to places. The brightest light shining part of me, the part that is the most thoroughly connected and a little bit vulnerable to hurt, gets protected by a crystal shield every time I leave the protection on my sacred space...my home. 

No more (well mostly *smile*)

I have decided this for many reasons, the most important and influential of which was a message, and urging from my divine team. This provoked some interesting commentary from me starting with, "You want me to do WHAT??????? WHEN???? You mean ALLLLLL the time????" *laugh* It took some convincing and MANY signs before i would follow through on this one.

I am sure you can predict the results from previous posts...smile.

Yep, you guessed correctly, as soon as i followed the signs and instructions, and walked out into the world shining brightly and letting all people see the all of me, I noticed a magic shift in the winds. Our power/ability to influence each other is astronomical, and is even stronger when shining the full and loving intent of our divine selves. 

Nothing seems hard or even impossible. People have responded to me beautifully where at other times they may not have....magic.

I feel we are on the verge of a mass consciousness shift...there are more and more people waking up (So to speak) to the true them, to remembering the love and majestic moments that occur when we listen to the inner voice guiding and protecting us....can you feel it?

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's all about perspective really

Exponential learning curve for me in the last few months has been the concept of choosing the way I view potentially negative situations. There are a lot of times in my profession (my real world profession of teaching that is) where I am confronted with massive amounts of ego, of people taking things personally and then seeking revenge and general nastiness.

I have often struggled in coping with these situations without feeling large amounts of heart hurt. It makes me feel terribly sad to see the way human beings treat each other, it is only us, of all creation, that has this incredible sense of cruelty towards others of our kind. *sad

I choose a different perspective, that has been long in the learning/remembering and understanding of. Often I have heard people say, "Just smile, it will either make them warm to you, or annoy them, either way, you win" While I don't necessarily subscribe to this exactly, the intent is sound.

During a particularly trying time of judgement and conflict with and from others, I finally found myself in a place to practise seeing differently in a way that was easy.

I have a fantastic imagination and I bought it into play in this defining moment. *smile* It was like this; a beautiful light bringer friend of mine sees the love energy we share as brightly coloured bubbles (awesome right?) and so, when I felt myself subjected to some not very pleasant "stuff" I pictured myself blowing love bubbles at them. Soon, I saw the tantrums as amusing rather than annoying, I saw the nasty comments as a reflection of their lack of self worth rather than a personal affront to me (I know this is still a judgement...baby steps...*smile*) and I looked at all of these behaviours from INSIDE the biggest, most multi-coloured love bubble you could ever imagine. It worked. I came home feeling NO impact whatsoever from THEIR CHOICES...none!

There was a moment or two where even the love bubble trick was not working, and in those moments I sang a little nonsensical ditty inside my head that went something along the lines of, "There's a light being here, and another over there, there is light in their clothes, their is light in their hair, there's a lot of lovely light in the air, everywhere, it's a lovely kind of day."  Who couldn't be smiling after singing this to themselves? *Laugh* This served to remind me that even though the current actions chosen were not from a place of love, that the amazing light bringer was in there still, and that was who I would choose to see and direct my attention to.

The FREEDOM I feel today is amazing....I released my need to judge others for their actions, embraced the love and light that resides within us all regardless of our current choices...and I did it all by singing and imagining big bubbles of love...how easy is that!?

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Are you waiting for the perfect time?

There are a lot of things I just don't start at times, reason being? Well, I'm waiting for the perfect time, I'm waiting for all of the obstacles in my way to be cleared, and I'm waiting until I can come up with no more objections........

You know the end of that story right? Yep...those things...they don't ever get done.

Someone told me once that I would need several life times in order to do all of the things I want to get done and to pursue all of the things I am interested in...perhaps that's true...but I think I have found the key to getting it all done in this life time with plenty of time to think up other things to do on the way....

You want to know what it is?

I no longer wait.

There IS no such thing as the "perfect time" other than right now!  So, there is no waiting, I don't wait for all the obstacles to be removed, for the path to be clear, for the problems to be solved and all of the pros and cons discussed...not me. I dive in head first, I follow my path, my heart, my impulses and my team and just go, go, go while the impulse has a hold of me. I create, I make, I do, i decide and I just keep on going until the job is done.

While doing this, running headlong, most of the things I saw as obstacles before i began...well they turned out just to be excuses, because when I got to them, most of them were no longer there.

Often, if we feel like we need to wait for the perfect time, it means that our "brain" is trying to keep us locked in our comfort zone, because it thinks it's safer...it might be, but without jumping in, there is no great gain either.

So don't wait, leap in, follow the impulse, walk your path...no, scratch that, RUN, and have a magical journey.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Universal life purpose

While we all have a goal we set, a life purpose which we are urged to fulfil and makes our heart leap with joy, I also believe there is a universal life purpose, one that we all share so to speak.

Our common life purpose then is to bring out the best in others. Let me take a moment to note though, that this cannot be achieved through criticism, nor through judgement.

Simply, we are all charged with inspiring each other.

We can do this in oh so many (non intrusive) ways.

• Use positive and loving words when speaking to, about, or thinking of others.
• 
  
• See the light being and the love in all people regardless of their actions.
• 
  
• Forgive easily.
• 
  
• Love unconditionally.
• 
  
• Inspire others to be happy by perusing your own divine happiness, this sends out amazing rays of healing energy.

We are all of one spirit in the end, and we're all in this together. There are so many ways in which we can bring about joy, gratefulness, happiness and to generally lift up the energy levels of others, that once you get started, you can never think of stopping.

It's a pay it forward kind of thing, living your own blessings, respecting yourself and your boundaries, committing to happiness, forgiveness and a life that comes from a place of love means we shine our light on the world and inspire others to do the same with their choices...the results are magnificent.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Notice your awesomeness...

You know, at least fifty times a day you do something amazingly awesome! It's true, really it is. Unfortunately, most of the time, the awesome moments are overshadowed by something else, there is a minor disaster (the glass of milk slopped over the side, the toast landed on the floor buttered side down, etc) and suddenly, your awesomeness flees out of your mind in a flurry of self recrimination....

You know what, notice your awesomeness, notice the moments where the toast fell, you caught it, landed it back on the plate while doing a complicated dance step to avoid the cat winding its way around your ankles. Take heed when you went to step out into traffic, and suddenly stopped BEFORE a car came screaming around a courner. Take a bow when you managed to smile gracefully and with genuine love when someone was rude to you....

I mean...holy cow...YOU ARE AWESOME...

Just thought you should know.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

To harm or to heal...

There are some emotions in our spectrum that definitely belong only to us; to humans that is, and they can be quite harmful. Anger, hate, distrust, fear and blame...just to name a few. While all of us at times, will experience this full range of emotive responses, our ability to mitigate them as soon as possible is to our own benefit.

Just recently, I experienced a "moment" a point in time that was a bit of a struggle and through the actions of another, I felt pain, disappointment and a whole gambit of non-useful emotions. .. bleh...not nice at all. All of a sudden, I was unable to sleep properly, the scenarios just kept going around and around in my head, I felt righteous, angry, and was laying a whole heap of blame at the feet of the other being involved.

Not helpful in the least.

While there is no doubt that the actions of another person precipitated these moments, it could also be said that I in turn, fed the experience by feeding fuel on the fire so to speak.

It was during the midst of this experience that I was given to understand a little more about guilt and blame and what an insidious set they can be. I consciously let go of blame, I chose to relay the events without blaming anyone (including myself for allowing the situation to develop) and to release the need to find someone at fault. Now, I'm not saying this was an easy skill to master, but it can be done.

In trying to find someone else to blame, it is possible I was trying to relinquish my own responsibility or to lessen the blow, in actual fact, what I was doing was creating a pool of anger and resentment around me, and building a wall between myself and others in order to protect myself from being hurt in the same way again...sheesh...also not helpful.

I looked at the situation from a more detached point of view, then, I repeated over and over again the statement, "No one is to blame, this situation just is as it is." Even when I was telling a close friend about the situation, I said these words again, each time reinforcing the belief that this is true.

In releasing the need to lay blame, I released the need to judge and to be angry. In so doing, I found it so much easier to move on without adding to my hurt.

In short, by adding no blame I could forgive, and so heal and move on.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Seriously exciting and energising stuff

Firstly, let me offer my apologies for my prolonged and unexpected absence. There are moments in time for writing, moments in time for growing, for listening, for changing, for thinking for feeling etc. I write these posts from my heart, as I am guided to do. I never intended for there to be such a long absence between postings, but hey...you gotta do what you've gotta do...and what I had to do was to grow... *smile*

So many different things have been happening over the last month or so, chapters closing, doors opening, a new story burgeoning (seriously exciting) and growth for me as a person.

I have taken a lot of time on my own to delve into the direction I wish to take and to feel my way through some obstacles.

I have discovered many secrets to being a better me, and have also learnt some more about healing myself of hurts both past and present.

Don't worry, I will most certainly be sharing these things with you over time...trust me, it's too much all at once *laugh*

The one thing I focused a lot of energy on and spent a great deal of time in contemplating and talking to the team about was/is the direction I am currently taking. I set my intentions for the year we have burst into all of a sudden, and am walking that path already.

It was quite a simple process really, although at the time it seemed magnificent and huge *wry grin* as I suppose all things just recently remembered seem to be. 

I sat myself down in a quiet spot with pen and paper and wrote my way through the year that had been; the heartaches, the trying times, the lack of understandings, the joy, the sorrows, the uplifting and the moments that seemed to drop out from underneath me. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Page upon page of the year that was poured forth. In short (sort of *wry grin*) I sat down and wrote myself a letter about the journey travelled. I couldn't help but feel uplifted by the number of pages pouring out of me. The fact that some of those pages detailed some not so pleasant moments was/is irrelevant ..I thought to myself, "Just look at how much I experienced!"

I set that letter aside, no need to read it further, I lived it after all. Having put aside the moments that I had already walked through, I looked to the moments to come and set my heart on a mission. The journey? Who am I....

On small pieces of paper, I wrote actions that the me I wish to be would take, for example, "Choose to forgive even though no apology was offered," and "love unconditionally and without stopping to discover if the other is worthy." and other such things. This is the person I AM, I told myself. This jar of papers are my self guide, in moments when the way doesn't seem as clear as it does now, I will be reading those pieces of paper to remind myself and put me back on the path.

I then decorated a second jar titled "2013". While I would love to take the credit for this one, I didn't come up with the idea *smile* it came from a Facebook message. This jar started with nothing in it, however, as a beautiful, wonderful, magical experience happens to me throughout the year, I will be writing it on a piece of paper and popping it into that jar. As the year progresses, the jar will continue to fill and then this New Year's Eve, I will open the jar and relive all the magic of 2013 and rejoice...great place to end and to begin.

Three small things that I could accomplish with relatively small amount of effort that have acted to propel me into 2013 with freshness, rejuvenation and hope....FANTASTIC way to begin.

A lot of stuff happening on the work front too (my real work that is...the work of being a light bringer *laugh*) and a lot of exciting things to follow here *does a happy dance, clapping her hands and singing a tune* 

I would love to hear the events that have bought you into this new moment...feel free to share.

With extreme amounts of love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxox

P.S. If you feel like a dose of unconditional love right now...feel free to pop in on the new facebook page run by myself and an amazingly angelic fellow light bringer called "Love Bubbles" https://www.facebook.com/pages/Love-Bubbles/405815306169457?fref=ts

Oh so many diversions....

You know, I often picture myself, as I was sitting there with the Archangel Michael, and we were discussing this journey, and the contract I would sign...often I ask myself whether I REALLY read that contract or whether I was just happily wrapped up in the moment...*sigh*

One of the things I have often pondered along this journey, is why it is I so often get totally wrapped up in "stupid" stuff?????? I mean really, I KNOW and have remembered/learnt all this stuff, and yet, I am often caught up and buying into stuff that just doesn't matter in the scheme of things...you know?

Life, the human life we lead, is a distraction and diversion to keep us happy and laughing while the "real" work gets done. *smile* To me, the real work is the business of beautifully shining my light on the world as I walk through it; to be the best human me I can be; to love unconditionally and forgive instantly...everything else...a pleasant diversion! well...that's what the contract said I'm sure *wry grin*

Sometimes I just have to laugh at my very humanness as I get caught up in what someone said about me, or a perceived insult/slight, or any other day to day thing, which in the long run means nothing to me.

Other times, when the moment has been far more terrible than someone being catty to me, I have had to remind myself to believe and keep knowing that this moment will pass and it too is just a diversion.

Using this thought pattern helps me to get through some of those more...shall we say..."challenging" moments.

We are powerful co-creators in the life we lead...I mean sure, we signed a contract, but that will never be more than we can handle, we knew it when we signed it...but if the diversion which is currently my life is not fun and pleasant, then I get to change those details, I'm telling myself to change something, move on, be different! OK then, message heard self *smile*

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Some of my favourite diversions

Meeting faery friends and having them share their wonder and belief with me! 

Playing with my somewhat crazy cat!

Making faery journals, drawing, creating, making magic!

The Stamp of Approval...

I was sitting in my garden today enjoying the wonder and the beauty of the sunset that has been magnificently enhanced by a massive smoke haze from surrounding bush fires. I was gratified by the beauty of the moment, and thinking that even something as potentially destructive and heartbreaking as bush fires can be, have the tendency to produce something magnificent and to be grateful for.

I was thinking, as I looked at this sunset and feeling my way through another sad moment, when I suddenly understood my sadness and seeming loneliness today.

There have been a few days lately where I am having to consciously think of the things I am grateful for and to look for the positive and all of those other strategies. There are MASSIVE energy changes going on around the world (I'm sure you've noticed the impact) and there is a lot in the way of learning/remembering and changing within myself as well. these times for me are often characterised by tiredness, a lack of willingness to engage in activities that I normally revel in, and a feeling of isolation and loneliness.

I came to a new understanding of this today. In a moment I realised that I was actually seeking approval from the people around me in some way. More than that though, I am/have been looking for acceptance and therefore curbing some of my natural instincts and impulses when around others...apparently I am a little too faery like and weird *smile*

So I asked myself, "Why do you need the approval of others?"

"I don;t!" I replied adamantly, "So why are you looking for it then?" I responded with a little sarcasm...... hmmmm..."OK, you got me."

I thought on this further.....

I couldn't really come up with an answer, so I figured this was one of those times when knowing why was not necessary, only recognising the situation, and then acting to change it if necessary.

I immediately asked my team to help me release the need to gain approval. I was sent inside to get pen and paper and immediately drew myself a stamp of approval...*silly grin* I of course, then laughed myself silly. The message, aside from the frivolity was clear...the only one who I need approval from, is me.

Working on it...*smile*

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Celebrate who you are

I am often my own worst critic, which in some ways stands to reason. You see, no one knows me as well as I do, so, naturally, I know all of my "flaws" and "imperfections" better than someone else knows them too *smile*

One thing I know and have faith in though, is that I was created a perfect being, and I am still a perfect being. So, while there are things I would desire and work towards changing (I could stand being a little less judgemental at times) I also know that there are so many things to celebrate about being me.

I don't wait for birthdays and Christmas or any other special occasion to celebrate and rejoice in the amazing things about me, and I most certainly don't wait any more for anyone else to point those things out to me *grin* 

When I come to a new understanding, I celebrate, when I successfully harvest the bounty in my veggie garden, I celebrate, when I make a great decision, I celebrate, when I follow my divine team and listen to my heart, I celebrate and so on and so on....

Look into your heart, REALLY look, and you will find all of the magical, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, inspiring things there are to celebrate about being you!!!!!

When we do this, when we take time to celebrate being who we are right now, we are sending amazing waves of gratitude and love out into the universe. In sending these thoughts out, we acknowledge all of the things we are thankful about. 

The laws of the universe state that you get more of the things you think the most about. Focusing on the beauty and the reasons to rejoice being you, tells the universe you want more of those things that make you amazing...and so it is!

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Don't spoil your present

One of the strangest things I have come across is the "live in the moment" type philosophy...I mean, I HAVE to be super organised well in advance, I simply MUST plan ahead and have back up plans in place in case the original falls through. If I don't, well, things just don't run smoothly, I get a feeling of immense stress and things REALLY start to go pear shaped from there...so HOW can I "live in the moment/" *she says with contempt and judgement* *sigh*

I think upon this moment, which was for me not so long ago, and I just have to *sigh* loudly! I answer my own question, "You feel this way because you didn't truly understand the concept silly."

Indeed I did not, and sometimes even still, I don't fully understand.

My new understanding of the thought, "Live in the moment" is that I can choose to enjoy every minute that passes (or as many as I feel I can) and not spend time worrying about "what ifs?", missed opportunities, failures, embarrassments, what I did do, didn't do, will soon do, may very well do and all of the rest...

I can make plans, set goals, create pathways to my hearts content (and indeed I do *smile*). What I choose NOT to do, is spend time in worry, stress and in listening to my brain and ego throw out all sorts of scenarios in order to frighten me into staying comfortable.

Don't spoil your present by fearing the future.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Can you be faithless?

I know right? This seems like the strangest and most confusing topic for a blog relating to a spiritual journey...let me explain.

One of the lessons I have found the most difficult to learn, on fact one I am still having to remind myself of and remember constantly, is about respecting my own boundaries.

Growing up, I learnt the lesson that "to serve others in humility" was the path to goodness. That to do things that only serve yourself is vain, selfish and the path to REALLY bad things happening. This "lesson" was taught to me through my experiences with the world around me by friends, by family, by compete strangers. I have to consciously act against conditioning now to do something because I feel the need to; to be by myself, to take time out, to make art instead of do reporting, to take the day off when I'm sick rather than forcing myself to go into work and struggle through the day, to say "no" when people are asking too much of me, and all of those types of things rather than doing things because I feel obligated, because I feel like I am letting others down, because I worry that they see me as selfish etc, etc.

So when I say,  "Can you be faithless?" what i really mean is, can you honour and respect yourself and your boundaries, even if it means "braking faith" with someone else?

The reason I feel this is one of THE most important lessons I have so far encountered on my journey is this...when I don't respect myself or my boundaries and needs, I am teaching others how to treat me, and telling the universe that it is fine for others to ignore me.

The MOMENT I realised this, I began retraining years of conditioning out of me! No way did I want to teach others that they can do whatever they want, speak to me in whatever way they choose and ignore my needs and boundaries at whim...and yet, this is exactly what I had been doing.

Now, I am faithless; I do what I need to do to respect myself, my boundaries and my needs. In doing so, people treat me with more respect than previously, they no longer ask me for more than I can/choose to give, and if they do, and I say "no" I am respected for that, not shunned. In retraining myself, I am also actively retraining others in the manner I expect to be treated, after all, no one is obligated to treat me better than I do myself.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Moments to regret or to feel protected?

I am reminded again today that my perspective on a situation makes all the difference as to how I view it, experience it, and am left with it in the end.

There are moments in my life where I was being verbally abused by someone where, in that moment in time, I didn't say all the things I was thinking of to say in response. I call this an angelic gag order *smile* Where I REALLY wished later, that I hadn't let the opportunity pass by to say what I really thought. However, what I was reminded of today through hearing a similar story from someone was that, in that moment in time, I am actually being protected from doing myself harm and also from visiting harm on someone else. After all, what I am thinking in a heated and highly emotive moment, in not necessarily what I may be thinking later either. 

I have also had moments where I have inadvertently overheard others speaking about me in a less than favourable way. Hurtful at the best of times. However, I have come to view these moments with gratitude because it is a moment that shows me REALLY clearly, the place from which these people are operating, and allows me to make a clear choice about whether I spend further time with them or not, or take them into my confidence etc. 

There are times too, where I have acted as a victim in terms of relating what was "done to" me, and I am gently, yet firmly reminded today that I allow people and their choices to impact me, or not. Their actions are their choice and therefore so are the consequences. If their choices come from ego, it is they that will ultimately have to be responsible; those choices are THEIR issue, and not mine.

I feel often that my divine team protects me from little traps of ego, judgement and "humanness" through bringing to light the path that those around me have chosen. While in the moment it may hurt to see others perceptions in this light, I now choose to be grateful that I was led to see this in no uncertain terms.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rose coloured glasses

I have often been accused of having rose coloured glasses, of not seeing "reality", being too trusting and not really knowing what the "real world is about". People have often told me not to be ridiculous, to come back to earth and to get a dose of reality.

My response to this is....why?

You see, in my "reality," the way I believe the world works, you get what you expect from the world.

 If you expect to have to fight and struggle...then you will. 

If you expect life to be hard...it will be. 

If you expect people to let you down...they will.

If you expect that there is nothing for you...then there won't be.

The way I look at the world is to expect miracles and love and joy, and sure, sometimes that means I am a little disappointed when I feel someone didn't "read the script" and at times I feel a little saddened at the way people treat each other (including me). However, my view of the world means that for a majority of the time, I see beauty, love and miracles in each passing moment.

You can only see from the perspective you believe the most in. I make a conscious choice to make that perspective one of hope.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Needing approval

It is through trying to meet someone else's approval or a set of standards or some other arbitrary thing that I have MOST often found myself floundering and in some sort of difficulty. The need for approval is a behaviour I learnt early on in life, and in fact it is something we are conditioned to from an early age. I never wanted to be in trouble, I never wanted to disappoint people or let them down, and therefore, it has taken me a long time to figure out that it was/is often this need for another person's approval that has led me to paths I may not have otherwise trod.

This concept, this freedom is something that is new to me. So I'm sorry, no profound words of wisdom yet on exactly how to release the need for the approval of others...I have only just recently myself, remembered that this can be so freeing.

In seeking the approval of others we forget something really important...WE are our own best judge of what will suit our journey and what will not, and that information is already inside each of us.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxo

Meditation tip

Tonight/today (depending in which time zone you happen to be in *smile*) I thought I might take you through one of my favourite visualisations for relaxing and healing. Meditation (like all things spiritual) is a really personal thing, so I really am not going to be offended if you are not partial to this one, however, it helps me immensely in times of difficulty, so I thought it might be helpful.

When I have had a particularly, shall we say "challenging"?, day I lay flat on my back to help me breathe deeply into my belly. I close my eyes and imagine a soft wave flowing up from my toes. I see myself lying on a white sandy beach with my feet in the water as the tide gently comes in. The water laps at my toes, the next wave comes to my knees and so on right up to my chin. As each wave rolls out again, it takes from me all the troubles and cares that have built up in my body throughout the day.

With each breath out, I release the need to hold on to experiences that have caused me hurt or sadness. With each breath in, in inhale the love of the divine and the wisdom to know that my purpose is to be happy.

With this visualisation and through the power of these words I reconfirm my commitment to a loving and forgiving life filled with the purpose of being happy.

Take a moment and, in whichever way suits you best, reconfirm your love and commitment for yourself and your belief that you are amazing.

With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Decisions based on fear

Today I was once again reminded of the result of making decisions based on a fearful way of looking.  I am not talking about our body's finely tuned mechanism that intuitively warns us that we are about to embark on something that is physically harmful...that is a safety mechanism and one we would all do well to heed. I am talking about the little voice in my head that starts throwing up objections every time I am thinking about making massive (or sometimes even small) changes to my life or way of being. 

For instance, there was a time not long ago when I felt the desire/need to step away from classroom teaching. It is a very full on job and the work done with these amazing souls is best done when feeling fully refreshed and resilient. At this particular time, I was feeling neither of those things and I really wanted to step away and just be me for a bit. The first thing that popped into my mind was thoughts like, "You can't give up a well paying job that is consistent and reliable just to "fluff" around and draw pictures and write stories all day. What will your family do for food? How will you pay the rent? That's really selfish, your children will suffer." This thought pattern kept me working in the job for several more months, meanwhile, I was getting more and more depleted, the students were noticing I lacked the verve they were used to, and honestly, it would have been better for all involved had I not been there. I sat down again with some quiet space to "think" this through (I know right? THINK!!!!! I needed to FEEL) and my brain, based in a position of fear, came up with the same objections. I mulled over this for a little bit and then I distinctly heard the voice of my team assuring me that I was always looked after, that I had nothing to fear, that I could make the decision that felt right and not concern myself with the details. "Yeah right," I heard myself replying wryly, "Easy for you guys to say, you don't have kids to feed or any other human obligation." I pouted for a bit and I am certain I heard a soft sigh on the wind. I went back to work for another week but by the end of that week I knew I would possibly be doing more harm than good if I stayed. As much as it pained me to leave the beautiful students I was working with, I took leave from the following week.

My heart was pounding in my chest, all of those "fears" popped up in my head over and over again. Each time one surfaced, I asked Raphael to take it away, I just kept offering all of those fears and worries to the universe and hoping for the best possible outcome. I spent the first week in silence with me (I LOVE silence *smile) not trying to do, think or be anything. I ate veggies from my garden, prepared food for my kids, avoided speaking to anyone outside of my sacred space (home) and just took time to stop. The money concerns returned and I did my level best to keep handing all of these situations over to the divine and follow my instinct and intuition. Into the second week, out of the blue, and earth angel from the insurance company for my superannuation called me. She had found out I was not at work, and was wondering if I needed to access my income protection insurance!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW, since when do insurance companies ring and ask if you want to make a claim? She walked me through the process and then made monthly phone calls to check and see if there wasn't anything else the company could do for me. Money problem sorted! Thank you divine team.

If I had listened to the fear based perception, and not stepped away, there is a REALLY good chance that I would have completely burned out and could not have entered a classroom again.

All those fears? All those things I worried and stressed about? They weren't real! There was nothing to suggest that they would happen, only my brain believing and trying to convince my heart that they would happen. I heard this saying once that I really love, F.E.A.R. is really False Evidence Appearing Real! My family and I were fine, there was nothing to worry about, I took the time I needed, wrote two more stories, spent quality time with my kids, healed, refreshed and restored and then launched back into the classroom to have done some of my best work yet!

Fear will only serve to hold you where you are, safe in your comfort zone. Be brave, believe and take a running jump to meet fear head on.

You are loved, protected and always safe.
With love and light
xoxoxooooooo