Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Me at my most mortal

I most certainly hope that under no circumstances, through reading this blog, have you formed the impression that I never lose my temper, quarrel with someone, have tantrums and occasionally act from my ego? If you have, let me dispel that myth for you right now. I have done ALL of these things and every so often, I do them still. yesterday was a perfect example of me at my most mortal. I could concentrate on nothing, I was irritable, cranky and all together foul tempered. I didn't want to speak to anyone, I ignored the phone, was curt when I absolutely HAD to speak to someone. I refused to play games with my three year old and completely ignored my partner. I imagine, for those around me yesterday, the term "unbearable" might spring to mind.

Yesterday was a day when I needed healing, time to recharge my batteries and to do nothing other than be me for the day. Since I ignored the early warning signs and continued to try and force myself into taking action and "doing" things, the day grew progressively worse (or more accurately, I grew progressively worse). The final culmination of the day was me crying hysterically into a pillow and falling into be exhausted by 7pm. So much forgiveness and explaining to do today!

We all have these moments and whether it lasts a day, a week or a month, there are things we can do to help us get a restful sleep, to relax, stay calm and make the most of the situation. The things you do are entirely dependant on you as a person. Each of us takes different action when confronted by our very humanness.

Some of the things I usually do (apparently not yesterday) to keep myself out of the way of others and to minimise the impact of my behaviour are:

* Cave dwell - this is in fact the action that would have been of the most benefit yesterday. I go to a space that is ALL my own and don't come out till I'm better. No T.V., Internet, email, face book, phone, NO contact with the outside world until I don't feel like ripping something to pieces.

* Read something inspirational - taking some time to read something that inspires and uplifts me is a great way for me to gain some perspective on the situation.

* Repeat some affirmations -  I would have done well yesterday to remember all of the things I am truly GRATEFUL for, instead of all the things that were really annoying me. (Because of course, by focusing on my annoyance, I just felt more annoyed).

*Crystals - there are a bunch of gorgeous crystals hanging around my house. I don't have any specific knowledge or understanding about their properties; I just choose by instinct the ones that make me feel better and carry them around in my bra or pocket for the day.

* Meditation - if I had taken the time in the morning to stop, breathe deeply and focus my intentions I may have just headed the tantrum off at the pass. Later in the day this would not have helped me, I would have been more likely to throw something at the poor unfortunate soul who reminded me to breathe than actually do it.

* Herbal tea -  my favourite infusion is a combination of peppermint, hibiscus and corn flowers to help me soothe my nerves, recharge my batteries and pick-me-up.

* Just be- had I recognised my temperament for what it was and decided to do nothing other than be me for the day in whatever form that took, then I wouldn't be writing this post today *smile* instead I tried to force myself to complete illustrations for my next book, clean the house, sort and organise, weed the garden and a whole heap of other things I just wasn't ready to do. Had i given myself the "day off" and just pottered around doing whatever took my fancy (even if it meant sleeping on the couch while watching a sad movie) I am sure that I wouldn't have morphed into a dragon by 7pm.

Bottom line is, we ARE human, we DO have days when we feel far less than angelic and divine. Give yourself permission to just "be" in these days or moments. Take whatever steps you need to to protect yourself and others; read a book, drink some tea, watch a happy/sad movie, play with crystals, paint a picture...whatever it is for you. Forgive, sleep and then move on.

With love and light

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