Thursday, 8 December 2011


One of the biggest elements of fear that holds the majority of us back from walking our path is the fear of failure! I am absolutely "guilty" of succumbing to this kind of fear, although of late...not so much. *smile* I have spent some time thinking about the concept of failure and made some decisions about it that have helped me to put aside this kind of fear. (Well, most of the time anyway).

Failure is defined as not doing something correctly; it has levels from extreme (or epic as my teenager son would say) to minor; the main thing about failure though, is that it is subjective! meaning that it all comes down to perspective and what may seem an 'epic' failure on one persons part, may only be considered minor to another. Taking all of these things into consideration, it becomes obvious to me that "failure" is another one of those human constructs; one of those things we made up ourselves and use to punish ourselves and each other with...sigh...why do we do it????? *wry grin*

So, if the concept of failure isn't a gift from the divine, and doesn't come from a place of love and it real? I don't think so. If this is the case, it means we cannot fail!!! AWESOME!

Let me give you a "for instance" about failure being a matter of perspective; one that is particularly close to my heart. I was an incredibly academic student in high school, attaining very high marks in my chosen subjects, competing well in the field of academics. I was considered full of potential and likely to be highly successful in any chosen field of further study. I went off to University that first year with a plan, with expectations, and with the type of enthusiasm that only 18 year old's can show *smile* By the end of that first year, I had "failed" 6 out of 8 subjects, and I was pregnant with my first son. In the eyes of my extremely devout Catholic family (and a lot of other people if I can be honest about it) I had "wasted my potential", I had "failed to live up to expectations", I had made a "serious mistake" and other such comments. Phew..a lot to deal with as well as being single and pregnant at 19 years of age.

Hmmmm...let's review though... I returned to university a year later with more focus and determination to finish what I had started ("can't tell your children to do it if you didn't do it yourself" was my philosophy), while raising my son on my own, I also studied to gain three degrees over the next 6 years; every time I thought it was getting too hard, or that I would like to quit, I looked into that baby face and said, "nope." I started work immediately after finishing as a high school teacher, and while I have done other things and taken time out of teaching at times, I have an awesome career, doing what I love the most...more importantly though...I have this AMAZING "little" being (OK, he's over six feet now...not so little anymore) who I have had the privilege of watching grow, guiding his steps, kicking his bottom when necessary, and to receive unconditional love from for the last 15 years!!!! exactly is any of this a failure?

Yes, I could have bought into all of the "failure" statements, I could have agreed with others perception about this particular turn of events (and at times, when it was really tough, perhaps I did), but in reality, this "failure" is one of the main reasons I can sit here, having written a series of children's stories, with 3 degrees and an awesome career in teaching and art making!

 Failure in the perception of others, is actually JUST their perception; and it has NOTHING to do with reality!

Look at the times in your life when you consider you have "failed" or when others have told you something was a failure...was it really? Did you learn from it? Did it make you stronger? Did it show you another way to go or another path to your destination? Did it strengthen your resolve? Did it make you look closer at a situation and decide to go a different way or to change something? Was it REALLY a failure?

One of my favourite sayings: "Imagine what you would do if you KNEW you couldn't fail?" Well, the truth of it can't!

With love and light

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