Thursday, 12 January 2012

Dispersing the affects of negativity

Often we have no choice as to the way people treat us or the events that transpire around us simply because we cannot (and shouldn't even if we could) control the actions of others. For example, you cannot stop someone disliking you based on preconceptions of their own; if they've made up their mind about you, there's not a lot you can do there to make a difference is there. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, our actions and most importantly, our RESPONSES!

So what do you do when confronted by blatant negativity or thoughts and actions that clearly come from ego rather than love due to their hostile intent?

There are as many ways of dealing with this as there are people. All I can do is give you some of the scenarios and actions I have used in order to disperse the affects of someone else's choices and actions.

Number one on my list is to distance myself physically from the situation. In other words, if I don't feel I have to be there, I choose not to be. I choose carefully the people who have access to my time and energy. Anyone who persists in acting continually on a negative pathway do not get my time and energy. It's that simple! The quickest to be politely, lovingly but definitely firmly shown the door are people who inject negativity (or try to) into my dreams, goals and belief systems and people who judge me for them. I limit my time with those people and definitely do not seek out their company. With this, I also cut any emotional ties I may have to this person and choose not to dwell on their actions. After all, they have a right to be how they wish, to choose whichever pathway they wish and to think and feel however they like. My choice is not to judge them for their actions and also not to engage with them.

An action I find really easy (after some practise) if I have to be in a person's space whom i would otherwise not choose to be, (for example a work colleague) then I employ the concept that nothing that happens which is based on human ego is actually real. Only things that come from love and the divine are real. That is the reality I choose to accept as my own. I imagine the other person as a bit of a cardboard cut out of themselves, their actions are not real for me and therefore can have no consequence for me. This works the best for people whom you may otherwise judge for their choice in actions (this is not good for you either) but who's actions do not directly affect you. For instance, if someone in your work place is talking negatively about a process or about another colleague; this action does not prevent you doing your own job or in anyway affect you other than the affects of general negativity and judgement. Negate the influence by acknowledging these actions are not real. Buying into the situation, even reprimanding or showing them their actions are harmful to others actually gives the situation more energy and doesn't actually solve anything.

There are though, those times where someone chooses an action that directly affects you and harms you in some way, either physically or emotionally. In my experiences, the first two strategies, while helping a little, are not overly effective in dispelling the harmful affects. For me, in these type of situations, there is only one course of action... I ask for help! I ask my team to stand beside me and help me through the moment with love and forgiveness, I ask that I am not affected, I ask that I can learn from the moment and above all, I ask that I can see, understand and feel that this is ONLY a moment, that it will pass and that I will be whole, loved and connected to the divine afterwards no matter what the intent of the other person.

This strategy has helped me through some pretty confrontational and emotionally and physically trying moments in time.

None of these things may appeal to you, you may already have strategies that are effective for you...AWESOME...the important thing to remember from all of this is that you don't need permission from anyone to be the you that you choose to be, you cannot control the actions of others, however you CAN choose to find a way to ensure their choices don't become yours.

With love and light

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