I quite often speak about forgiveness and this being the key to love and moving forward from hurt, however, I felt quite strongly today to speak about forgiveness and it's ultimate application...to yourself.
The example I think about and use when I am contemplating this topic is this:
Imagine your response if a very dear friend came to you and confessed that they had made a terrible mistake, that they had done something wrong and it had all gone badly. They confessed also that they didn't mean to hurt any one, that it was a genuine mistake, but were now punishing themselves unmercifully with their own guilt and shame. You know this person, you love them and you know indefatigably that they would never have deliberately, maliciously and willingly hurt some one else on purpose. What would you tell them? What advice would you give to your friend in need?
Really think about your response...
I know I would tell them it is OK, that they are human and that means we make mistakes, that the situation is not an ideal one, but that they can move forward, take the learning being offered, ask forgiveness and maybe make some form of restitution if possible; I would tell them they are loved and protected always, and one mistake in one moment in time does not change the unconditional love given to them. I would offer comfort and solace, safe in the knowledge that love and forgiveness will heal their wounds and that of others.
I wonder why it is then, that if these are the actions I would take if a friend came to me in this kind of distress, that I would not do the same for myself for many, many years?
Each night, as I lay down to sleep I would punish myself for not only the silly mistakes I had made during the course of the day, but also for the last decade or so! That is, until I learnt the value of also forgiving myself, of picking up the skill of imagining a conversation between my 'hurting self' and my 'loving, forgiving self.' I would tell myself all of the things that I needed to hear in order to forgive and move on.
I love and respect myself enough to offer forgiveness and love when I make a mistake.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo
The example I think about and use when I am contemplating this topic is this:
Imagine your response if a very dear friend came to you and confessed that they had made a terrible mistake, that they had done something wrong and it had all gone badly. They confessed also that they didn't mean to hurt any one, that it was a genuine mistake, but were now punishing themselves unmercifully with their own guilt and shame. You know this person, you love them and you know indefatigably that they would never have deliberately, maliciously and willingly hurt some one else on purpose. What would you tell them? What advice would you give to your friend in need?
Really think about your response...
I know I would tell them it is OK, that they are human and that means we make mistakes, that the situation is not an ideal one, but that they can move forward, take the learning being offered, ask forgiveness and maybe make some form of restitution if possible; I would tell them they are loved and protected always, and one mistake in one moment in time does not change the unconditional love given to them. I would offer comfort and solace, safe in the knowledge that love and forgiveness will heal their wounds and that of others.
I wonder why it is then, that if these are the actions I would take if a friend came to me in this kind of distress, that I would not do the same for myself for many, many years?
Each night, as I lay down to sleep I would punish myself for not only the silly mistakes I had made during the course of the day, but also for the last decade or so! That is, until I learnt the value of also forgiving myself, of picking up the skill of imagining a conversation between my 'hurting self' and my 'loving, forgiving self.' I would tell myself all of the things that I needed to hear in order to forgive and move on.
I love and respect myself enough to offer forgiveness and love when I make a mistake.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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