Thursday 14 June 2012

Let it go...

You know we signed a contract before coming here and deciding on this life right? I know that we have talked about this before. (Sometimes I think there should have been a cooling off period for the contract I agreed to...but hey...I made the deal *smile) When we arrive, we have free will, we have the gift and ability to choose contrary to our contract/agreement, and we have the ability and gift to choose whatever path we decide on once we get here. I have to admit, that sometimes, once I had really embraced this concept, that I wondered what I was possibly thinking when I made some of the choices I did in the past. *shakes her head ruefully*


There has come moments for me, when the choice in front of me is to either 


a) continue to make the same choices and deal with the same response, and then "kick myself", recriminate or otherwise punish myself for these choices...OR...


b) to make new choices, take a new direction, and more importantly, to let go of the decisions I have made in the past.


When stated as simply and as clearly as this the choice seems obvious (If in doubt, pick b) yet, in "reality", which means in perception, it doesn't always seems as clear cut as this does it?


Lately, the message I have been getting a lot is to "Let go;" to release attachments to all things, people, places, situations, emotive responses...everything. Let it all go and to just enter the flow of the universe, feel the loving embrace of my divine team, and "Let it go."


I have spent a bit of time on this, letting go that is, and trying all sorts of strategies to assist me, and I know I'm not there yet, I know I am not able to totally put aside all concerns about earning enough money to feed my children, or about how someone I care about has reacted or responded to me that hurt my feelings, or the guilt I may inflict upon myself for a choice I made....


I had a thought today about why this may possibly one of the more difficult stages of the journey I have chosen. Letting go of all of those things means a change; it means releasing those little stressors and moments that I may have used to tell a funny story, it means changing the little part of me that still behaves at times like a victim etc and even though these "changes" are really good and will allow me to move forward....they are still change. As a human, at times, it seems as though I "fight" to let go, and at the same time, "fight" to hold on to my perception of me.


*sigh*


Thank God I have an amazing team of divine beings to support me while I make these changes, to understand when I don't quite reach my goal and to encourage me to move ahead even though I may feel as though I just walked backwards for a kilometre or so.


With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo



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