Sunday, 19 August 2012

What to do when you can't do anything?

Over the last few days (and at other times) this amazing lethargy has come over me. It is almost like I am wilfully procrastinating over everything, spending inordinate amounts of time playing Spider Solitaire (I know I'm not alone here *smile*) rather than doing the work I know I should/or even that I wish to be doing, letting housework go by the wayside, practising marking avoidance and refusing to engage in conversations or any other interaction with others if possible to avoid them. Generally speaking, when this kind of mood takes me, I acknowledge and accept that perhaps my body and my team are telling me it is time for a rest and recharge period. I honour that feeling and take some time out to cave dwell.

Occasionally though, this "mood" seems to take a long time to pass, and I find that the more I rest, and the more I take time out and avoid contact with others that is not strictly necessary, the more prolonged the moment seems to become. The old saying that "Lethargy breeds lethargy" might have something to do with this, sometimes it is merely a reluctance to re-enter my life since it's so lovely in faery land *laugh*

I know when I have rested and "cave dwelled" long enough, because I start to become irritated with my own inactivity. Even so, it is at times a bit of a battle to get motivated and get back into the swing of things.

Today, I had had enough of cave dwelling, I wanted to re-enter the world, to become "productive" again and to complete tasks I had set myself to do. Any more marking avoidance and it was likely that my students were going to lynch me *smile*

Still, when I got up this morning, I made a coffee, went out to the garden with a book and sat in contemplation. This is the way I usually begin my day...difference being, I was sitting outside in the garden for an hour or so until I finally gave myself a shake and said, "You need to get started again." I went inside, turned on my computer in order to catch up on correspondence and get some school work done. Guess what I opened? Yep, Spider solitaire. By this point I was getting REALLY annoyed with myself. I forced myself away from the computer and stood in the middle of the lounge looking at the disaster zone. It really doesn't take long when you have a four year old *grin*

Giving a great big sigh, I went back to the computer...a few more games wouldn't hurt...right?

This time I threw myself out of the chair with some VERY strong admonitions about my choices and exactly what I thought of them (luckily the four year old was not at home today).

So what did I do to get myself to begin?

I went to make another coffee and decided that I could wash a few dishes while the kettle boiled. I ran the sink and started washing a few things, just a few mind you. The kettle boiled, but I decided to finish the dishes. Looking around, I decided I really liked the feeling of at least ONE clean room in the house, and looked into the laundry/bathroom...oh dear! "I can put a load of laundry on," I thought, "that's not too taxing, and while that's on, I really should sweep the floor." And that's what I did. I am sure you can predict what happened next? That's right, I went from room to room, tidying this, picking up that, dusting off everything. Pretty soon, the job was done. Feeling a little energised, I mowed the lawn...and then the neighbours lawn *grin* (Still doing marking avoidance) then had a luxurious shower, facial and hair wash. I felt like a new woman!

I then drew an illustration, put a loaf of bread on and some veggies in the slow cooker for dinner...right!...getting there. I looked at the clock and to my surprise, it was only midday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Resigning myself to the inevitable, I sat down to mark papers. It was no where near as awful as I anticipated (nothing ever is) and I was done in a surprisingly short period of time. I still had HEAPS of time on my hands; looking at the clock again, it only read 2pm! I shook it a little to make sure the batteries were working...they were.

Throwing out a "thank you" to my divine team for creating the time I needed, I approached the computer again....insert scary and threatening music here *laugh* ...OK, so here was the test, can/could I complete tasks on the computer without opening solitaire????

Yep... 2 modules of my on-line course done, caught up on correspondence and paper work for school, checked out my book's facebook page and sucked up some of the amazing positivity there, and now? Writing my first blog for two days *wry smile*

When I look back on today I clearly see the lesson I was asked to remember. When you are uncertain what to do, when life seems overwhelming and you have come to a standstill, just take one step towards your goal. Then keep taking those steps, and soon, you'll be running along the journey.

Today started with the dishes, and look where it ended up!

With love and light

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