Friday, 17 January 2014

I am me

It's been quite some time I know. In fact, a REALLY long time since last I posted. I write what I am guided to write, and for such a long time, I apparently had little to It seems that my path lay in other directions for quite some time, and a whole gambit of learning experiences took my focus away from writing. 
Today, I went to the beach and just sat for a while (always a healing and cleansing experience) and I began to write again. I wanted to share this first writing with you all...

"She's got to be loved,
woah, the woman's got to be loved.
She's got to be looooved
she's got to be wanted..."

So, I'm led here, by the beach side, with this song playing over and over in my head. All morning, all the images of the men I have so foolishly loved pass through my head. It brings me no sorrow though. Instead, an insatiable joy fills me my heart and mind smile and I almost feel that anticipation that marks the beginning of a new love. The pulse quickens and a spontaneous smile comes unbidden to my lips. The door to my heart opens wide and I feel the invitation flow out of me and into the universe. Joy and wonder fill this moment as I truly release, truly let go of past loved; sending them every blessing and all the joy the universe so graciously provides to all those who ask it.

Instead of the sad and hollow place that was how I defined myself and my lover, I now, surprisingly, find a gladness, an anticipation, a waiting. In all of the faces that pass me by I see my lover, my soul, my friend. I smile the smile of one newly in love, that smile that is so different from any other smile and I know it radiates from my being as I see the joy in the faces of others as they pass me.  I see the acknowledging nod of one being to another and I feel my being respond the same way it would were they a cherished, lost friend I am meeting again on the street rather than the random stranger they humanly are.

Never has the remembering been so strong before. I remember the joy of home, the one-ness of all beings in a place where only love is real, only the joy of communion exists. So much do I feel that home is a part of me in this existence now, that the "reality" of here seems one and the same. The longing for home that has afflicted my heart for so long, has vanished in this moment.

Home seems no longer separate and a place of "other", it is here and now, surrounding me with loving grace and freeing my heart from the bonds of fear, servitude, aloneness and worry that have bound me to a path I knew I did not want to travel.

I find myself filled with love and courage. A fearlessness, which is neither ill-advised nor reckless, fills me, and I know that in this moment, the word impossible is meant for others on a different path.

I create, I love, I live and I shine a light for the world to see. I am me.

Being me is to be sensitive, to love and show loyalty with my whole being in combination and without reservation. There is nothing in me that is not perfect. There is nothing to change, to dwell on or to regret.

I am able to embrace the whole of me with loving abandon and to know that my faults are only perceptions. A perception fed and fuelled by the opinion of others who look at me because it is too hard to look at themselves and love without condition.

I am in love with me; with my precious and perfect self...and it is enough.

I walk my path and forge a new way of being, an old way of being. I go back to the place I originated before this mortal existence began and I remember.

I look into my own heart and find there is nothing left wanting. There, instead of pain, I find the joy of awakening and I am able to sing and dance and be free. I am me.

I no longer recriminate or judge myself and my past and try to identify moments I see as mistakes. I don't need to. I am me.

I am me. I am the bringer of joy, but more than that, I am the personification of joy and through that example, I can lead others to find their own.

I understand my path. The rest of the moments to come belong to this path.

I am me.

With love and light

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