I have mentioned a couple of times the concept of forgiveness. You would think this is something everyone knows about and shouldn't need any explanation. While this may be true, the 'how' of forgiveness is more difficult.
When you have been really hurt by a situation, a person or through their words and actions, it is definitely human to want to protect yourself from that. It is understandable that you would bear ill will towards them even.
Have you considered though, that while you are protecting yourself from the hurt visited upon you, and you are making yourself feel slightly better in the moment by bearing those people ill will...you are in fact hurting yourself more than they did?
It is true, although it never seems this way when you are in the middle of that pain.
Learning to truly and effectively forgive will aid your own well being and make you a happier and healthier person.
Having a very long memory (and unfortunately a nearly photographic recall) I remember every detail of every hurt I have ever felt. I also have an unfortunate habit of replaying those experiences in that lucid moment between sleeping and waking. This has meant many sleepless nights on occasion.
One of the first things I do is express a desire to forgive. This doesn't even have to be particularly heart felt at this stage, so long as it is the truth. Remember the desire to forgive a person or set of circumstances is a desire to be happy, healthy and whole...this will help you mean it :)
Once you have expressed this desire, the universe and the Divine can start to help you heal from your hurts.
This is not always enough. Some hurts feel so big and so 'unforgivable' that they need angelic back up.
Each time you encounter a person, or an experience, a cord is attached to you that can drain energy away, or give it to you. Some people have many cords, some have relatively few. It is cutting these cords that will free you from the pain you feel or the guilt you feel. You can do this anywhere, any time. Imagine a burning sword so bright you can barely look at it, and an intense purple light surrounding you. Imagine that sword slicing down the length of your body on all sides while you mentally say the words, "I cut the cords to experiences, words, events and people that cause me pain or feelings of hurt." As you do this, you are removing the energy draining cords that are attached to you and lessening the pain.
For those GREAT BIG hurts that don't seem to respond to anything, you need to bring in the big guys. Archangel Michael is your man. He is the expert at cutting cords, and I haven't come across any hurt so big that he cannot help you heal through forgiveness and through cutting the cords. As you lay down to sleep, imagine again the purple light surrounding you, and imagine Michael is standing or sitting by your side. Ask him to help you get free of the cords tied to you from harmful situations and help you to forgive.
From the first moment I did this, I have continued every night to complete this little healing ritual. Archangel Michael is there waiting most times now (although he will only sit there with me unless I ask him to help me). I sleep peacefully, and find it easier each night to be able to let go of hurt and pain caused by others, and most importantly myself.
The most important forgiveness is the forgiveness you give yourself for making mistakes, both big and small. When we can forgive ourselves, it makes others easier to forgive. When we forgive ourselves, we are proving that we like and love ourselves and therefor that others can like and love us as well.
Whether it is a result of this forgiveness or maybe coincidental to it, I have no trouble sleeping now, and I find it easier to relate to and talk to people from all walks of life. I also find that people respond to my nature more than they did when I held all those grudges and pain within myself.