I thought I would tell you today about what I call my awakening. I define this as the moment I woke up to the real me, the spiritual me. This wasn't a fixed moment in time per say (although there have been a few really defining moments) rather it was a gradual understanding that my 'intuition' was not just fey and a sense of knowing, but something much bigger and more wonderful.
I have always been a spiritual person and always interested in things like herbal healing, reiki, and all forms of 'alternate' therapies as a way to heal and be healed. I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith and attended church every Sunday at least, sometimes more. I became disenchanted with the church though, ad by 17 developed a sense of loss at what I perceived to be the failings of Catholicism in general. I just couldn't believe in a God who was punitive instead of supportive, or a God who would ask a man to kill his own son to test his faith. I wandered a bit then from institution to institution all the time searching for my God, the one I did believe in. I went to synagogue, I attended Church of Christ services, saw the Buddhist monks, the Taoists and the Jehovah's, none of them could tell me of the God I knew existed. You see the problem I had was no with belief or faith, but with the institutions that tried to categorise and dictate to me how I was supposed to act, believe and even talk to my God. Institutions are run by human beings, and for a lot of the people I met, I didn't feel they were really all that qualified to judge me and instruct me on how to have faith. So I gave up searching, well in institutions anyway.
Long story short...I went through some pretty tough years including being a single parent at 19 years old, having a husband who hit me, numerous disastrous relationships, post natal depression and a complete sense of loss. The whole time though, I knew there was something different about me, that this intuition I felt often, had on many occasions been a life saver (I mean this quite literally too).
When I was in my early 30's, I met a very dear and beautiful person who to this day I am grateful came into my life. By this stage I had embraced my 'strangeness' and didn't often think about God as an entity any more, just as a sense of comfort and well being. We both were surprised when we sat next to each other in the morning in the staffroom and both had a deck of Doreen Virtue's oracle cards. Thus began a long and lasting friendship.
My friend was really excited one day to tell me that there was a seminar being run by Doreen Virtue that we should go to. At the time, my work life was terrible and I was feeling a little low. I really wanted to get out of town and go to a positive place for a while. When my friend told me that the cost of the seminar was nearly $1000 plus our accommodation and travel expenses, I knew right then that no matter how much I wanted to go, I would not spend this much money on myself. Divinely led, my friend bought me a ticket anyway and booked accommodation. My sense of what was right and my sense of loyalty and perception of honour meant I couldn't let her bear the cost of this even though I had said I wouldn't be going. I paid her back for the ticket and my partner encouraged me to go.
What I thought I was attending was a 3 day seminar on positivity and angels with the key note speaker being Doreen Virtue. After registering and finding a spot right up the back of the room in the corner, Doreen asked us to take out our oracle cards and find a partner who we did not previously know in order to complete an intuitive reading. "WHAT?" my mind shouted, "YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?" I had no idea that I had signed up for a seminar on how to be an Angel Intuitive and that I was going to be expected to complete readings for total strangers. I was scared out of my mind and looked accusingly at my friend who also happened to have the same dumbfounded look on her face I was sure I had on mine. "Ok," I thought, "She didn't know either." Being a diligent student, I did as I was told. No one could have been more surprised than me to know that not only could I complete an accurate and healing intuitive reading, but that those voices I had always heard nudging me in one direction or another (I thought was my subconscious) were actually divine. A whole team of beautiful and loving beings who had and continue to, guide me through life in a loving and supportive way.
What I learnt in 3 days was how to really listen to what I was being told, how not to ignore the information I received and how to use this gift more effectively in helping others.
It was another 6 months before I received the information to write stories for children. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, I have often written stories and even attempted to have them published over the years, however, never had they been children's stories and never with the aim to help children develop the loving and supportive skills it took me until I was in my early 30's to "get". The message was clear, I followed through on the instruction and now I have a published book, and a second one in the text layout stage with another 10 stories waiting for me to illustrate them.
The best part of this story is that I also KNOW, (smile) that this story can be true for everyone. This is not a special talent or an exclusive club. Being well, happy and living a life full of purpose is actually available for everyone no matter what you believe. It is your divine right to live a beautiful and fulfilling life, and it is your CHOICE whether to do so or not.
Part of my purpose is to maybe help a few more people open the door, just like Doreen Virtue's "Angel Boot Camp" (I love that name) did for me. So, I write my posts here as diligently as I can. I act as a conduit for my divine team and write to topics they tell me from my own heart and personal experience. Don't think for a second divulging all of this to a world of anonymous readers was not without fear and was definitely uncomfortable for a person as private as I am. But I have learnt that with discomfort, often comes growth...
With love and light
Roxanne
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
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