Sunday, 19 June 2011

Ebb and flow...but never stuck

I've noticed something about myself lately and I thought that maybe it wasn't just me that feels this way. So, I thought I would write today's post on the topic and maybe other people can identify themselves too? Who knows?

I'm waffling a bit today aren't I?

I have noticed that my body and mind have a particular flow to them. An energy cycle that I am keen to develop insight into in the hopes that I can somehow shift this cycle to suit my goals and dreams far more effectively. The last few posts have had a little to do with this as well. I notice that for a while I will feel invulnerable, full of potential and able to do anything. I operate on far less sleep than other times (6 hours instead of 8) and feel like I can do anything I want to do. Then, usually all of a sudden and with no particular cause, I feel less energised, and completing all of the list of things I have set myself to do seems like it is hard work rather than the joyful and enthusiastic flow from one thing to another. This feeling is really only momentary and lasts at most a few days. I have begun to see this as a bit of a pattern though and am curious about it.

I have always honoured my body's physical cycles (well in the last 10 years or so anyway) and recognised when I am overworking myself and slowed down to rest or to fill myself full of contemplative and meditative energy. These physical cycles also coincide with my mental cycles, in that when I am physically tired, my mental processing is slower and these are also the times when my ego decides to take a crack at taking over as well, and tries valiantly to convince me that no one wants to hear what I have to say, or buy my books etc.

It is the mental ebb and flow of energy that I have recently noticed, takes a predictable turn and makes me perceive that I am stuck and unable to move forward. It is this cycle that I am most interested in unlocking. For several days now I have contemplated this state and come up with a couple of theories which I have spoken about in my last few posts.

I notice that when I am relying on someone else picking me up (or something else, like book sales or post reads) that I have this feeling of being stuck. I found out this week, the dangers of relying on these physical things, outside of my influence for a state of well being and a feeling of worth. Bottom line is, I am worthy and have worth with or without anyone else's opinion, and to base my thoughts of self worth on another, only has pitfalls and traps for ego. Phew! Glad I learned this one actually.

I have also learned that I am never truly stuck. It may seem as though there is no momentum and I am going nowhere, not growing, developing, thinking. In actual fact though, there is nothing that is stationary when we look to the molecular level. The pace might differ, ebb and flow differently, but never stationary and stagnant. So, if I continue to do things that make me feel alive and vibrant, then my mental energy will shift to match that vibration. The flow then, becomes faster.

It is my responsibility to ensure that i understand my own cycles without judgement, but with the understanding that is the precursor to growth. In finding out the answers to my questions for the last couple of days, I have opened myself up to growth in new and amazing directions.

With love and light


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