A lot of the time, being unhappy is a matter of choice. I know this sounds like I am saying it is a person's own fault if they are unhappy or being happy is just a simple matter of "keeping your chin up" or any of a number of platitudes just like that. This is not what I am saying at all, and I know just how angry it would have made me a few years ago if someone had said this to me.
We have been conditioned over several centuries (probably millennium) to think that happiness is somewhere else and has to be earned or deserved. A lot of guilt, misconception, and unhappiness comes from the idea that you have to do or be a particular way or in a particular place in order to be happy. This is simply not true. Happiness is our divine birthright. When we contracted for this life time, no one would have signed up for misery and despair.
So what I mean by happiness being a choice, is that it is within us all to be happy and it is a matter of looking at and making an analysis of these preconceived ideas about worth and "being deserving" and get rid of them as the baggage that they are. things worth having need to be fought for. That if something comes from struggle, it is somehow more worthwhile and has been earned. This is one of those misconceptions that I think a lot of people of today nurture in the back of their mind. That if you achieve something easily, it is not as worthwhile or valuable as if you had to fight to get it.
Once again, this is simply not true. I have fought and struggled to achieve the goals I wanted to achieve, I have also achieved things easily by listening to my heart and following my bliss, so to speak. I can tell you now, from a LOT of experience of doing things the "hard" way, that it is not only just as worth while to achieve something easily, it happens quicker and has far less baggage accompanying it. I would much rather follow my life's purpose, listen to the divine messages I am given and accelerate my journey to reach my goals by doing everything the easy way, than have to fight tooth and nail to finally claw my way to my goals bit by painstaking bit, and once I get there, have to then go through the process of getting rid of the baggage I accumulated on the way.
One of the things that has helped me to "do things the easy way" and achieve happiness no matter what is going on around me, is to remove from my vocabulary and thinking words that are combative. By this I mean things like "struggle, fight, battle, difficulty, hardship, hard, bad, etc" Remember the way you speak is the way you think and is the intention the universe will act on. It is common to use phrases such as "It was a struggle to get out of bed this morning because it was so cold." Was it really all that difficult? Was it just a matter of making the decision to get out of bed and then doing it? You/I may not have wanted to get out of bed, but that doesn't really make it a "Struggle" does it? I know when we say things like this, it is not meant to mean a literal struggle, however, words have power! If you think it is a struggle, it will be.
Another one I have eradicated from my thinking is "try." This does not sound like a combative word, however I think once you read the following bit, you might see how it will hamper your efforts.
Often I hear students say they will try to do something. "That's not good enough." Is my usual reply. I then go on to state, "Try to pick up that pen for me please." The student then picks up the pen and looks at me confused. "You didn't try to pick that up," I tell them, "you picked it up. You did it."
Most things come down to one of two options, you will either do it, or you won't, try does not even come into it!
Happiness is a choice! The first thing you need to be aware of is your own thoughts and feelings on the concept of worthiness and the fact that happiness needs to be earned. Own those feelings, look deeply at the ideas that have made you think that you need to earn the right to be happy by doing or being something in particular. Find out where they came from by looking deep into your thoughts. Then, you need to cut the cords to those feelings. Release yourself from any obligation to do or be something in particular in order to have happiness. Again, happiness does not have to be achieved, it just is! Make a choice to release these thoughts, feelings and misconceptions, eradicate the use of combative language as often as you can and focus all your energy on noticing that you are already happy.
Happiness is a choice that we can all make for ourselves and one we ALL have a right to regardless of all other considerations.
With love, light and a prayer that you will all choose happiness.
I have heard it often, and in fact this is one of the cords I needed to cut for myself, that