Once I have made a promise to someone, for whatever reason, I will move heaven and earth to ensure that I keep this promise. For me, the act of promising is really important. I will never make a promise that I have no intention of keeping, and even when a situation changes, I will still do everything within my power to ensure that the promise is kept. This is just a part of what makes me...me.
However I have discovered, that previously, this commitment to promise keeping and integrity only extended as far as others and I did not consciously apply this same principle to myself. I would make promises to myself all the time about getting fitter and exercising, quiting bad habits, not letting others use my good will, finishing what I started, those kinds of promises. Problem is though, that as soon as something else came up, a situation where someone else needed me,my promise to myself was forgotten.
I came to realise a little while ago, that as a healer and a person of integrity, the most important promises I make are the ones I make to myself. In honouring those promises and respecting myself, I am able to be a better healer for others. All of the promises I make to myself are shepherding me to divine and perfect health. I wonder now how I could have ever found them unimportant enough to break when all other promises I make (big or small) are to be adhered to no matter what in my mind.
This comes down to respect for self, love for self and trusting that the commitments you make on your own behalf are exactly what our need to be healthy and happy.
My own first step was to acknowledge that I was not being honest with myself or honouring my own needs at all. I had to write the affirmation "I am worthy of the same respect I show others" and read it a few times a day for a while to ensure I really understood what was at stake and the probable reason for not keeping commitments to myself. Then I had to/and still have to on occasion, force myself to be as strict about promises to me as I am to promises I make to everyone else.
No one in my life minds when I regretfully say I cannot help them today because i was going for a walk or that I had meditation and reflection to do for me. Others don't see you the way you see you. Where I thought people would see me as selfish if I said no to them in order to do things for myself, instead they see me as self possessed, healthy and happy.
It will help you immensely to give up the notion of servitude (help all others before yourself) and embrace the FACT that you are as worthy of divine and healthful living as everyone else and in fact, you are better able to help others by first keeping promises to yourself.
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