Tuesday, 30 August 2011

It's not my job...

This is a bit of a funny title for one of my blog posts *smile* however, it does link closely to the post I wrote on servitude or service. Feel free to have another look at that one later to see the connection.

There have been numerous times in my life when I have felt I have been directed/led to be in a certain place and a certain time in order to complete a transaction or two for the greater good. When the job is done, I inevitably leave. Usually, when this happens, I get the "feeling," then promptly forget it and go on about my daily life. Then, I move on and it is not until afterwards that I recall the fact I was placed in that spot for a reason and the whole situation becomes clear. There are also times, when I have misunderstood or misinterpreted the reason I was sent...that never ends well. *rueful smile*

As a lightworker, my goal and life's purpose as I see it is one of a healer. My actions, motivated by love and forgiveness always, are to bring love and light and healing energy to the people I encounter on a daily basis. With this in mind, it is impossible for me to pass over someone who is hurting and do nothing. If I see that someone is in pain, in need of assistance, or that there is anyway I can help, then I do regardless of the consequences to myself. An analogy that might make this clearer is that of a doctor. If a person was lying in the street in need of first aid and a doctor just happened to be passing, they would stop and help, their oath as a healing professional demands it as well as their personal integrity and empathy. This is the same feeling I have towards others I meet.

This doesn't sound like a bad thing right? Well it isn't, however it has led often to me overworking and acting in servitude rather than out of love. Going back to the doctor analogy; imagine now an entire street full of injured people and only the one doctor! One of the life lessons that has taken me the longest to adjust to is the concept that sometimes "It's just not my job" and acting despite this knowledge doesn't actually help anyone.

It is interesting sometimes how I can "forget" the things I know.

A friend (and fellow lightworker) explained this situation to me once and her words hit home in the hardest possible way...phew! I was complaining about my lack of energy and how my current work situation was "sucking the life out of me". It seemed to me at the time that I was the mother, councillor, secretary, assistant, helper, healer and all round fix-it person for everyone in my work place. People would come to me and outline their problem, knowing I had a solution to offer. The next day, I would present a finished product (or sometimes over the course of a few days). All of a sudden, rather than fulfilling my role as a classroom teacher, I was also writing frameworks, policies, advising on behaviour management issues, mentoring etc, you get the idea. My beautiful friend said to me, "You know what your problem is?" (meanwhile I was thinking it was everyone else that had the problem and that I was being taken advantage of). "Your problem is you produce too many miracles." I laughed out loud and replied, "What?" with as much incredulity as could be put into one word. She then went on to explain that when a person presented me with a problem, I "miraculously" handed them a solution. The people I was helping did not see the work put in, the effort expended or the drain on me personally, so it did indeed seem I produced a miracle. She also added that I was being a little selfish...(no word hits me personally like that one I can tell you), she clarified by adding that if I am constantly presenting the solution for others then I am not allowing them to find their own strengths or to reach out for what they can do and achieve on their own, I am in fact, depriving them of the ability to grow and learn from their own experiences.

It's funny that, since this is one of the driving principles in my classroom, one of the concepts I base my teaching practice on; I teach students to stand on their own, have confidence in their abilities and to reach out for the stars which are their divine right. And yet, I took this away from the adults around me??????

Lesson learned, "It's not my job." Sometimes it is hard to step away and watch the fall you know is coming, but the rewards of watching someone pick themselves up, dust themselves off and learn and grow from their experiences is infinitely better.

All we can do is be the best us we can be, lead by example, offer the hand of healing, assistance and forgiveness when we are guided to. Active interference in the lives of others is not our goal (well it is certainly not mine *smile*) nor is depriving others of the value of self learning. I use my skills as a healer now only when someone asks and gives me permission to do so whether they verbalise this out loud or from their heart.

With love and light and healing energy

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