Monday, 19 September 2011

Let others know

Some people (unfortunately in my opinion) ascribe to the notion that it is either not good manners or social skills to let others know when you are in pain, or to express distress and show "weakness".

I read a saying just recently (although I regret not being able to accurately quote the source) that said something to the effect of, we are each others salvation. It is through compassion, empathy and the ability to "walk a mile in the other man's shoes" that we can reach out to and support each other.

With this in mind, it cannot possibly be the wrong thing to do, to tell people when you are hurting or in pain in any way. We are somewhat insular creatures at times, and not always focused on the plight of others. This is how it should be. This means that at times, others do need to be told that you need help and support, don't let them have to guess or wonder about what the problem is, or even if there is a problem; TELL people you need their help!

There have most certainly been some times in my life when I have been desperate for the compassion and understanding of another soul; just one person who knew of my troubles and was able to understand me and offer support. However, I have often been too proud and too involved in the martyr complex to be able to show anything other than my "strong, independent and capable" face to the world. This has meant that I have had to work through this alone. While I inevitably managed to survive these times (sometimes barely) I also know, that if the people around me had known the depth of my troubled thoughts and feelings, they would most definitely have come to my aid. The time I would have spent seemingly under a black cloud would have been less, and my faith and love of my fellow humans would have manifest itself a lot sooner as well. Bottom line is, if I had let people know how much I needed help and maybe even the help I needed, they would have done what they could to ease my pain (I defy you to find too many people who would do nothing when you are pleading for their help) and I would have been back on my feet much quicker.

Have trust and faith in the goodness and ability to have love and compassion of the people around you. If they know you are hurting, they WILL help you, even if it is just giving you a hug while you cry. They cannot read your mind, they are not able to guess as accurately as you can tell them what you need. It is not just OK to ask for help and let others know of your distress, it is essential you give the people around you the opportunity to show you how much they care about and love you.

With love and light

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