Thursday, 22 September 2011

The nature of complaining

This post might be a little influenced by ego today...I'm not really sure, but I do know there is something to pass on here *smile*

One of the things that causes me the most frustration, whether I am working with a client or just in my daily life, is complaining. You would think, being a high school teacher, I would be used to complaints, let's face it, teenagers do this well. Let me clarify though; I am not talking about making a complaint to an authority because you are dissatisfied with the service you have been given, or stating to someone that you are dissatisfied with an event or set of circumstances so that you can get an opinion or gain clarity (provided this is not done over and over again). The complaining I am talking about is where a person constantly expresses dissatisfaction with their life, their choices, the choices of others and other such things. This type of complaint is laced with judgement usually and not at all constructive or helpful. In fact, the only reason (in my opinion at least) for this type of complaint is to gain sympathy or attention of another sort which could be gained in far more positive ways.

To further expand on this definition; complaints about a person's life or circumstances are the ones that bother me the most. When it comes to our own lives, we are the orchestrator's, we are the ones who make the choices and decisions in regards to our lives and therefor, we take the consequences for them. If a person is dissatisfied with the consequences of their choices it really is VERY simple, change your choice and move on! There is no point in continuing to complain about how much you hate your job if you have done nothing to change it (retrain, look for another job/change employers, straight out quit, whatever, just do something). In other words, if there are choices you have made that have led to consequences you don't like most definitely make a note of it, even say it, however, if you are not prepared to change it or work towards changing the situation, then I think perhaps you loose the right to complain about it.

We make our own choices, we have the innate ability to make of our lives what we desire. There are no excuses and no reason to complain really. If you don't like it, change it. One of my favourite Doreen Virtue oracle cards is the one that states; "You created this situation, and you have the power to change it." What an amazingly liberating thought, if you don't like it, change it!!!!!

I know sometimes this seems easier said than done, I also know I have been guilty of this type of complaining myself from time to time. I would like to think though, that in recent years at least, I have moved passed the need to complain about something and leaped right into doing something to change it. It really is a matter of practice and discipline. It may seem fun and entertaining even to complain about things, it may even seem like it is therapeutic (in terms of venting etc) however, in the long run, it helps no one, least of all the person listening. Forgive, move on, change.

With love and light

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