Wednesday, 15 February 2012


Yesterday was just "one of those days". My perceived need to control my environment, to be in control of everything that was and is happening to me and to control the outcome kind of got in the way yesterday *rueful grin*

It was a day where the more I tried to get in control, the less likely I was to have it, where everything that could possibly go wrong... did,  (thanks Murphy) and from start to finish, nothing went right...AAARRRRGGGGG!

What did I take away from yesterday? Considering that I could very well have been in a sobbing and hysterical heap and wasn't...I actually had a really good day. I know, confusing huh?

Each time yet another thing went a little pear shaped, I whispered, "It's only a moment, guide and protect me." (Naturally, this was directed at my team). 

Each time I felt myself begin to get anxious, I thought, "I am fine, I am loved, everything will be wonderful."

When panic started to get it's claws in, and I felt like crying, throwing my hands in the air, or breaking a whole lot of somethings from sheer frustration, I stopped, took a deep calming breath and said, "I am calm."

Each time I did one of these things, I felt fear, anxiety and anger melt away. Granted, I had to do this A LOT, yesterday, and there were a whole heap of things I didn't get done (they all waited and were there for me today), but at the end of the day; a VERY trying day, I was a little tired, but VERY, VERY pleased with what I had achieved.

I stayed calm, I let go of the need to control things bit by bit, remembered I was loved and protected always; and while a little tired...I felt good!

How often can we say this at the end of a day like this?

My team stood by my side constantly, helping me, calming my fears and working with me to get through the day as well as putting plans into place and looking after my life journey for me while I focused all of my attention on putting one foot in front of the other. What an amazing comfort and joy. Imagine if I had had to do it on my own?

With love and light

A commission art work for my school Chaplain that I 'just so happened' to finish today...VERY appropriate

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