There have been many times in my life, especially in my professional life, where I have been "ordered" to do something that goes against my personal ethics and mission statement. I have a very well defined code that defines for me the things I find acceptable, and the things I find totally unacceptable. This has been defined, hones and polished over many years, trial and error and quite often, by finding out the hard way *smile* Not only is this code ingrained in me, I have actually written it down and read it often since this is the main way I make decisions for my life and my daily actions...
So, when someone has "asked" me to do something that goes against the grain, so to speak, I have learnt to lovingly, but firmly, hold my ground.
An example of this is a situation where I was told that my manner of dress and carrying myself was not acceptable. It made me stand out to much and apparently tarnished the "good name" of the place I was working. The whole issue it seemed, stemmed over the fact that I wore Doctor Martin Boots with my dresses. It is not as though I wore shabby looking clothes, revealing clothes or anything else that would somewhat justify concern from others. I chose to wear boots with a dress????? No big deal really. I stated my opinion that wearing boots with a dress did not impact on me professionally and competently completing my job, and in fact covered the work health safety requirements of my profession, yet was told that I could not continue this practise. So, since it was no big deal, I wore other shoes. Following this though, other faults were found, then still more, then still more. The overall feeling was, that i was not fitting the "image" they wanted to portray for their work environment. Rather than trying to make myself fit the mould they had decided was "a professional" I took matters into my own hands and transferred to another work environment where the way I dressed was not as important as the work I do.
I know this seems like a silly little thing and I know I could have just started wearing business suits and been done with it; in reality though, I was being asked to change who I was and how I worked (from ordered chaos to ordered order *smile*) to fit someone elses image and perception of how I should behave. So I said, "No, enough."
I haven't always had the strength of will and mind to hold firm to what I believe is right and this has led to some heartache in the past. This is a skill that improves over time and repeated use.
Following your heart sometimes means having to say no, with love and without judgement; just a firm and decisive, loving "No," and more importantly, sticking to it.
YOU know who you are, YOU know what you will and won't accept, YOU are in control of yourself and your decisions and well-being, so YOU get to say "no" when it suits you.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
So, when someone has "asked" me to do something that goes against the grain, so to speak, I have learnt to lovingly, but firmly, hold my ground.
An example of this is a situation where I was told that my manner of dress and carrying myself was not acceptable. It made me stand out to much and apparently tarnished the "good name" of the place I was working. The whole issue it seemed, stemmed over the fact that I wore Doctor Martin Boots with my dresses. It is not as though I wore shabby looking clothes, revealing clothes or anything else that would somewhat justify concern from others. I chose to wear boots with a dress????? No big deal really. I stated my opinion that wearing boots with a dress did not impact on me professionally and competently completing my job, and in fact covered the work health safety requirements of my profession, yet was told that I could not continue this practise. So, since it was no big deal, I wore other shoes. Following this though, other faults were found, then still more, then still more. The overall feeling was, that i was not fitting the "image" they wanted to portray for their work environment. Rather than trying to make myself fit the mould they had decided was "a professional" I took matters into my own hands and transferred to another work environment where the way I dressed was not as important as the work I do.
I know this seems like a silly little thing and I know I could have just started wearing business suits and been done with it; in reality though, I was being asked to change who I was and how I worked (from ordered chaos to ordered order *smile*) to fit someone elses image and perception of how I should behave. So I said, "No, enough."
I haven't always had the strength of will and mind to hold firm to what I believe is right and this has led to some heartache in the past. This is a skill that improves over time and repeated use.
Following your heart sometimes means having to say no, with love and without judgement; just a firm and decisive, loving "No," and more importantly, sticking to it.
YOU know who you are, YOU know what you will and won't accept, YOU are in control of yourself and your decisions and well-being, so YOU get to say "no" when it suits you.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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