Sunday, 2 September 2012

It's not my story

One of the things I have remembered lately (and have to be reminded of frequently) is the concept, "It's not my story." Usually this remembering comes on the back of me attempting to make someone elses story mine *wry grin*

By this I mean buying into the story of others as they tell it to me, getting emotionally involved, when really, the best thing I could do for them is to be a good listener and that's it. As an indigo warrior, I am easily riled at times by things that are unjust, dishonest or mean. It makes me want to take my sword from the scabbard and leap to the defence...*laugh* In reality? This is not my story, and I am not required to change it, nor to do anything about it unless prompted (and that's rare) other than listen and offer comfort. 

When I buy into the pain of someone else and become emotionally involved, I am actually NOT helping. It took me a long time to remember this. It is through seeing objectively and offering solace without judgement that I can actually help in the healing process. It feels like I am helping sometimes to be horrified at an injustice, to voice my outrage at a situation, to leap immediately to the defence...all I am really doing though, is feeding fuel to the fire...this is never helpful. 

I coach myself to not give energy to perceived negative experiences by going on about them and yet, in the guise of "helping" I have encouraged others at times to rehash and allowed them to continue to feed energy into a situation. This is not intentional, but this is what is actually happening.

By reminding myself, "This is not my story" I am able to step away from judgement and from adding energy into an already negative situation. I am less likely t carry this away with me too. 

By listening to someone who is hurting, but making no comment that is a judgement or condemnation, I am helping the other person to move on and past their situation as well.

In anyone's life, no matter what is happening, I find I need to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, I cannot change their circumstances even though I can see clearly what would help at times, The ONLY person who can change a life story is the person who's story it is. "It's not my story" doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of others, it doesn't mean I won't help or can't help, it doesn't mean the same thing as "It's not my problem...good luck with that" it means that I acknowledge that the person who is hurting has the power and knowledge inside of them to change their own story. My role is to listen, and to be compassionate and loving...that is more than enough.

With love and light (and the knowledge that you are all powerful)

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