Sunday, 30 September 2012

The power in forgiveness

An event occurred just recently that made my heart hurt quite a bit, some people chose some actions that saddened me and disappointed me (this is a judgement I know). 

One of the first responses I received from the person involved was, "You can be as angry at me as you like. I know I deserve it, so just be angry if you want."

I was really confused by this. Why would I be angry? OK, so the actions the other person chose were quite hurtful, but why would I then choose to exacerbate the situation by being angry?

When you are angry, I mean REALLY angry, your body undergoes some physiological changes; blood pressure rises, heart rate increases, a whole stack of chemicals are release that get your body ready for fight or flight...a whole heap of things, none of which, if sustained over a long period of time, are particularly good for you. Nor are the mental processes going on when you're angry.

So, my response to this statement was, "I'm not angry, that would only hurt me. I wish things had been different, but they aren't. So I guess I have nothing else to say about that.

I freely forgave, and I forgave myself for any part I may have played in the scenario whether unwittingly or no, and then I chose to move on.

The immense power in this is many fold. I am not hurting anymore, forgiveness released my heart from pain and has allowed me to heal all the more quickly. I am not dwelling on the events and replaying them over and over in my mind, forgiveness of self and others releases us from the need to rehash stories to find where we "went wrong". I did not built walls to shut me away from others in order to prevent being hurt again, forgiveness allows me to be grateful for the great moments and anticipate the next without adding baggage, reluctance or fear.

It is easy to forgive, in doing so, we heal faster, let go of situations, people and places that are not helpful, and are able to move forward again without losing much momentum.

Forgiveness and turning the other cheek is not weakness. It means not holding on to the hurt, it doesn't mean allowing others to continue hurting you.

With love and light

No comments:

Post a Comment