Saturday, 8 September 2012

The Power to move on

Have you ever felt that you were a bit stuck where you are? That there is something holding you back from moving on or moving forward? That everywhere you turn there are road blocks?

I have SO been in this space, many, many, many (OK you get the message *smile*) times. It's not a particularly nice place to be actually. 

There is one method I have found work EVERY time to help propel me forward again; not slowly creeping, or barely moving, but propels me at a run into the next stage of this magnificent journey.

I'm not sure you're going to like it, I know I didn't the first, second, third and possibly even fourth and fifth time I heard it *laugh* however, I will pass it on to you and let you be the judge.

We all know by now that the only REAL obstacle in our path is ourselves (damn it all) and so then, to get past a blockage, we need to look within.

I was looking back at myself just recently, I took a peek into my memories and dredged up the 15 year old me. Essentially, the same girl; MAJOR difference being that my temper was on a far shorter fuse, and the results spectacular!!!!! and NOT in a good way. I used my knowledge of words to systematically cut down any one I thought of as threatening, which is to say getting to close to me, and I was ruthless in my determination to remove any "threat". I was sorry afterwards of course, but that sorrow turned rather quickly to self pity. I held a grudge against anyone I thought had wronged me, and once my enmity was gained, there was never any forgiveness or compassion ever again. Nice piece of work huh? I really was a nice girl and I did love and care for my friends and strive to be good, it wasn't all bad *wry grin* Unless of course you were on the receiving end of some of that other stuff....*cringe*

So what's my point; the purpose for bringing 15 year old Roxanne out for introductions? 

In order to move forward from this point and to grow and mature, the very first thing I had to do was look myself in the eye and take ownership of the person I was at current. Without rancour, without sorrow and most DEFINITELY without judgement, I looked at myself and decided I did not like the person I was currently showing to the outside world.

Having taken responsibility for the person I was, and acknowledging that I had a choice about the behaviours I showed and the actions I took, I was then free to forgive myself and start to make changes.

When I feel as though I am stuck, when the "I'm a little hard done by" moments emerge, when I think there are "things" holding me back, the FIRST thing I do now is look myself in the eye!

As hard as it may be to hear and to accept, we are the creators of our current situation, and only we have the power to transform ourselves and our lives in order to propel us into a new future.

With love and light

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